Contributed by: kellyseal on Friday, September 23 2011 @ 10:22 am
Last modified on
The scenario: You're starting to fall for a new man. You've been dating for a few weeks and things got intense pretty quickly because of your chemistry. Now however, he is starting to back away from the relationship. He goes a few days without calling, doesn't return your texts in a timely way, and you're starting to wonder if he's no longer interested.
Before you dive head-first into falling in love with him and into a full-fledged state of confusion, consider a few ideas:
Has he expressed to you want he wants/ needs? If he is elusive about whether or not he wants a relationship, or he changes the subject if it comes up, chances are he isn't looking for anything serious or he doesn't know what he wants. Either way, this is not a good fit if you are in fact looking for a serious relationship.
Are you getting ahead of yourself? If you've only been dating a few weeks, likely you haven't had any conversations about exclusivity. Remember, especially when you're online dating, until you've had a conversation about being exclusive, you should *censored*ume the person you're dating isn't. Give relationships time to develop instead of pushing for exclusivity right out of the gate. And remember, you can and should date other men until you're ready to be exclusive.
Have you listened to his wants? Sometimes, we get excited about the possibilities of a new love, so we don't pay attention to the cues or the messages our love interest sends. Maybe he recently got out of a relationship, or he mentioned that he doesn't want anything serious right now. If you think chemistry will override his preference to avoid a new relationship, think again. Perhaps you have something special, but if both of you aren't on the same page about what you want, don't try to force a relationship to happen.
Have you experienced a pattern of dating unavailable men? While I'd love to believe that when we experience a good date it leads to a relationship, this is not usually the case. Relationships don't materialize unless both parties are willing participants at the same time. If you're left wondering what happened following a great date, take heart. Success is all about timing. If you find that this kind of rejection is a recurring pattern, consider the types of men you're attracted to, and try to branch out. Only by trying something different can you expect different results. Otherwise as my friend so eloquently put it, "you're just dating the same man in different shoes."