Contributed by: Jet on Sunday, September 26 2010 @ 08:35 am
Last modified on
Imagine this: you've met someone great, and had a fantastic first date. Now, maybe through Facebook, Twitter or just plain old-fashioned Googling, you've discovered that your date has a blog. Before you went on your first date, you just loved that it was a peek into the soul, refreshingly honest. After the date, however, you realize that a refreshingly honest post was made about you. Or, worse, there were ones after, about other dates.
Usually when we talk about privacy and our online lives, we're talking about the concrete, real-world facts that can be obtained through social networking sites: our phone numbers, our workplace, even our current location. We forget that we also tend to leave our thoughts and feelings out in the open.
Many bloggers have reached a kind of equilibrium they feel comfortable with: if they've had blogs for years, they probably have some family members and friends who know about it, and choose to either read or not. They're comfortable with the amount of information they disclose, both to the family readers and complete strangers.
A new relationship, however, is someone outside the equilibrium; not someone you've known for years who will love you unconditionally, and not a nameless, faceless stranger. Every blogger will have to figure out what works for them and their new partner on an individual basis; maybe it means leaving the new flame out of the writing, or coming up with a code name.
In the meantime, as you go on first dates, remember that the blog is one more source of information about yourself. Don't assume that because your date hasn't mentioned your blog, it means they haven't read it; they might simply fear coming off as a stalker. Oh, and while I always advocate honesty and would hope that you're not lying to impress at any time, remember that a blog is yet another source of information that can contradict and reveal lies. And, of course, as you blog after dates, be aware that the date in question might be reading.
If the world seems to be shrinking at an alarming rate for you and you're not sure you want the world reading your thoughts, remember that many blogs (and even Facebook) have settings that allow you to keep some or all of your thoughts private. Or you could take advantage of the blog: talking about how much you enjoyed the date might be a way to send a covert message. Stick with what works for you – as long as you're aware of the potential consequences.