Contributed by: kellyseal on Thursday, December 22 2011 @ 12:31 pm
Last modified on
Some of you might be a little nervous about jumping back in the dating pool, especially if you've been out of it for a while. If you're considering dating again or perhaps have even gotten started, following are some tips to help make it easier and a more enjoyable experience. After all, no matter how long we've been dating, we can all use a little advice from time to time.
Don't bring up the ex. This might seem like a no-brainer, but the worst thing you can do on a date is to talk about what brought you to the singles market in the first place - your ex. When you're meeting someone for the first time, they want to get to know you, not your issues. Don't mistake the two. Leave the topic of your ex off the table, and focus on getting to know each other by asking about interests, careers, hobbies, etc. If your date asks you about your ex or divorce, you can kindly (and in a fun way) steer the topic to something else: "thanks, but I'd rather get to know you."
Start on a clean slate. It's important not to bring your day with you - whether it's stress from work, managing your children (if you have them), or dealing with your ex. Try dressing up, listening to your favorite music, or taking a bubble bath to put you in a happier frame of mind for your date. Attraction doesn't happen if you're preoccupied with other stresses. Remember: dating is a break, so have fun.
Keep the conversation light. There's no need to talk about issues you have with your kids, or work, or even politics or religion. Don't be tempted to overshare, especially if there's a lull in the conversation or if he recently went through a divorce, too. It's better to bond over mutual interests that carry forward and not over anger from the past. Be engaging and focus on learning about each other: that is, your interests, passions, and what makes you get up in the morning. Take it slow, and enjoy.
It's okay to be nervous. Even if you date a lot, it's normal to get nervous before meeting someone. We all like to make a good impression, especially if there's a chance for romance. The key is to take the pressure off yourself. Remember: the first date helps you get to know each other, and nothing more. It's not a deal-breaker or a failure if there isn't mad, passionate chemistry. So just try to enjoy yourself and get a little practice in. That way, you'll be ready when the right one comes along.