Contributed by: Erika on Wednesday, June 30 2010 @ 08:16 am
Last modified on
How much do you really know about the potential mates you're talking to via your favorite online dating sites? A large majority of the popular online dating sites don't perform background checks on their members, so you may be walking into the world of online dating with a false sense of security.
The San Francisco Gate just published an article about a convicted murderer who was discovered on popular dating site Match.com. Match doesn't screen its members for criminal backgrounds and the man's profile was deactivated one it was brought to the site's attention that he was misrepresenting himself.
Do we feel safe on online dating sites because we pay a fee to become a member? If we sit down and think about it, thirty dollars or more a month doesn't really entitle us to any sense of safety. It entitles us to access the site's features and benefits and meet new people! By keeping our wits about us, we can have a fun and safe online dating experience. While we can't be 100% sure that the person we're meeting will be our perfect match, we can do everything possible to ensure that we're going about our search as safely as possible.
For Women: Do Your Homework
For ladies who are interested in digging a bit deeper into the background of men they may be interested in dating, you may want to visit WomanSavers.com. A site dedicated to women's safety, they have tools to help you research a potential date.
For Men: Do YOUR Homework
There's nothing wrong with having a look at your date's details, either. For men and women alike, a simple Google search can tell you much of what you want to know. If you want to dig a bit deeper, such as verify marital status, you can always use a report from a site like Intelius.com. Granted, they do cost a fee, but if the information is there and you don't feel comfortable moving forward without it, it's yours.
Look for Warning Signs
If someone's profile is filled with everything they don't want or hate, chances are that person isn't going to be your ideal date! Don't just fire off a wink, flirt or email after looking at a profile picture. Take two minutes and read the details. You may be right on track or you may save yourself a headache you didn't want in the first place.
Don't Be Paranoid
You don't have to walk into every new dating situation as if the other person is inherently evil. There are just a few bad seeds out there that make it rough on the rest of us. Give yourself the time to get to know someone, try not to get caught up in the thrill of meeting someone you click with and let nature take its course. Meet in public places during normal hours, park close by and in well-lit areas (guys and girls alike) and don't disclose your home address until you're comfortable with your date.
Need Some Reassurance?
If you want an online dating site that goes the extra mile, you might want to look at True.com. They perform criminal background checks on all of their members. They've even sued members who have misrepresented their background in an attempt to access the site! I wouldn't doubt that more sites are headed this direction but for now, True is one of the only ones I know of offering this type of pre-screening.
The bottom line is this: keep your wits about you when doing the online dating scene. A picture and some words can easily be manipulated into whatever someone wants you to see. I want to believe that there are more good eggs than bad in the basket, so smile, play it safe and enjoy the journey to your future mate!