Contributed by: Jet on Tuesday, May 15 2012 @ 09:37 am
Last modified on
In online dating, one of the benefits is that you can be selective - selective in what you say you’re looking for, selective in who you choose to contact. Let’s face it: there are some people for whom you know you are completely unsuited. All it takes is a fast perusal of their profile, or maybe even a gut instinct upon seeing their picture. And that’s okay. With online dating, no one’s feelings get hurt, and you move on to another profile. But what about the cases that aren’t so easy?
“Kim,” a friend of mine, told me recently about a profile she’d been checking out. “I was interested right away, just from the picture,” she said. “So I started reading, and this guy was well-spoken, interesting... He was even funny! I actually laughed out loud, and you know that almost never happens, even though people say it all the time...”
“So did you email him?” I asked.
“No, because he seemed so great, but then he mentioned that he’s an unabashed meat-eater, and would probably never get along with rabbits who only graze on garnishes,” Kim said.
Kim is a vegetarian; her parents were early Vegan adopters. “But you don’t have a problem with meat-eaters. I eat meat,” I protested.
“Yes, but even so, he’ll be thinking of me as a rabbit. He might as well have said, “No vegetarians apply.”
And thus we have the problem. What do you do when someone seems like they might be a good fit... if not for these one or two issues?
Well, in my opinion, you contact them anyway. Yes, a profile is a guideline for what we’re looking for, but it’s not an absolute. Think of your closest friends: do you always agree with them in every way? Would you list every last personality trait and interest of theirs if you were looking for the “ideal” friend? Probably not, because no one is perfect. What really matters is how you mesh as a pair, in person. And how will you find that out unless you give it a shot?
So Kim contacted her mystery man. She admitted upfront she’d always been a veggie eater, and teasingly asked if he could “handle” meeting a woodland creature. Maybe things will work out; maybe they won’t. But chances are, it will not hinge on the eating habits of either of them. And who knows? They might have real compatibility.
So as you peruse profiles, bear their tale in mind. Are you passing up profiles that actually interest you because of one or two differences? Might some of these be worth a second look? After all, we’re looking for someone who is the best pairing for us in personality, not necessarily a match in every detail. Why not take a chance and see what comes of it?