CNN’s Do’s And Don’ts Of Dating After 50

Contributed by: ElyseRomano on Saturday, December 15 2012 @ 10:29 am

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"Dating at midlife just ain't what it's cracked up to be."

Ronni Berke, a senior producer at CNN, isn't the first to make that complaint and she certainly won't be the last.

"Try online dating!" well-meaning friends and relatives say. "It's easy, there's no stigma anymore, and you don't have to suffer through the bar scene."

But is it really all it's cracked up to be? After all, Ronni points out, "Most Internet 'first dates' begin at bars. With strange men." And there are countless horror stories about fake profiles, scam artists, misleading photos, awkward encounters, unwanted sexual advances, and simple incompatibility.

Still, whatever the drawbacks may be, it seems everyone knows someone who met their significant other online. So what's all the fuss about?

Ronni took the plunge and tried online dating seven years after her husband died of a brain tumor two years into their marriage. She enlisted the help of her closest friends to write a stand-out profile and choose the perfect picture, and received a flood of responses right away. She also took a chance on speed dating, but found that a 5-minute conversation isn't the strong foundation for a relationship the boomer set is looking for.

After meeting so many men, online and in person, came the hard part: sorting through the suitors to find the princes amongst the frogs.

To help her separate the two, Ronni created her list of "Speed Dating Do's and Don'ts, For Men of a Certain Age:"

  • DO dress presentably. That means take a shower, groom with a minimal amount of hair products, and leave the Hawaiian shirt at home.
  • DO know how to talk to a woman. You want more to say that a stutter and some awkward mumbling. It's ok to have a line, but make sure it's a good one.
  • DON'T leave a woman sitting alone because you're too shy to come over. The point is to meet people...why waste an opportunity?
  • DON'T talk about marriage on a five-minute speed date. There's lots of time for that in the future...a first date, especially when it's only a few minutes long, isn't that time.
  • DO come up with a reason for why you're in your 50s (or 60s) and haven't met the right person yet. Paint it in the most positive light possible.
  • DON'T accidentally take your date's drink to the next table with you. It's just bad form, and it says you weren't paying attention to them.
  • DO know your selling points. What makes you a great catch?
  • DO act interested in what your date is saying. And if you aren't, be clear and polite about your feelings so you can both move on to more suitable dates.

To find out more about some great speed dating services (both online and off) you should check our Speed Dating category.

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