Contributed by: Colterbrian on Monday, March 11 2013 @ 01:18 pm
Last modified on
With the ease that Google can pull up information on almost any topic, many people nowadays have the ability to find out much more about people than they were able to 10 or 12 years ago. With that comes the ability to eliminate doubt about anybody you know-your best friends, your boyfriend/girlfriend, or even your spouse. In an age where dishonesty is becoming more prevalent, it should come as no surprise that more and more people are turning to background checks to figure out just who they are going to be going on that date with.
We've all heard the horror stories... It's true, news stories almost seem common place about unlucky women who end up going on dates and finding out that the tall, dark, handsome man that they are seeing is a convicted felon with a history of violent sexual assaults. Or that the person they are dating is not who they say they are at all, and have been lying about things from the start.Lifetime movies have tainted us all in one way or another. When we hear stories like these, it is easy to justify looking up every detail of the first date. There is nothing wrong with background checks. The main thing to keep in mind is that you are by no means in the wrong if you do decide to perform a background check on the person that you are dating. If you are serious about dating and are looking for a partner to stay with for the long-run, you have every justification to take things seriously from the start. It may be better to get the jump on things and root out problems before they start, or at least to know what you're getting yourself into. If you have kids and know that you wouldn't feel safe with them around somebody that has a criminal history or poor driving record, don't even think twice about whether it's a good idea-just do it.
Preserving the mystery... On the other hand, there are those that would caution or argue against doing a background check on every date you go on. There was an episode of the TV show How I Met Your Mother where Ted ends up ruining a date with a girl because he Googles her and becomes very intimidated by her success. There is something positive about mystery that makes dates go the way that they do. The thought of actually meeting somebody new is exciting, but the "process" of meeting them can be ruined if you have already made a predetermined impression through a background check.
Before it's too late It may help to realize that, according to a study[*1] , 37% of married people snoop on their partners electronically. This is because nowadays, people tend to rush into relationships without knowing exactly what they are getting into. From infidelity to money problems, married couples that end up snooping on and doing background checks on each other have found things that they wish they would have known about 10 years earlier. Don't become that couple. This doesn't mean that you have to go out and do a background check or snoop, but with things like this going on in the world, you would not be at fault for doing so. If nothing comes up... Hopefully, if you do end up running a background check, nothing will come up. In instances where you have already been on a few dates or are in a committed relationship and have run a check that turns up nothing, you may find yourself feeling guilty or silly. Don't. Remember why you ran the check in the first place, and focus, from that point on, on building trust. In the end, remember that we live in a dangerous world, and that's it's better to be safe than... well, there's a number of things that could happen. But that's the point. In a world where trustworthy people are getting harder and harder to find, you may have to take it upon yourself to actively root out the dishonest.
Colter Brian is a former private investigator/photographer and now a freelance writer. When he writes, he contributes to sites such as Online Searches[*2] . Some of Colter's hobbies include spending time in the outdoors and perfecting his pasta recipes for his toughest critics; namely his two children.