Contributed by: Jet on Tuesday, June 14 2011 @ 09:29 am
Last modified on
In comedy, much of humor is actually pain. Slapstick, for instance, is literally pain, albeit over-the-top or silly. Even more common is situational comedy, which takes awkward or uncomfortable situations and finds the absurd humor in them. In short, it’s a pretty fine line between comedy and tragedy. And yet, we attempt to walk this fine line all the time, in the name of being funny.
If comedy and humor are integral parts of your personality, far be it from me to tell anyone to edit themselves. However, just as you might carefully select the joke you use at a funeral, at an angry policeman, or around your grandmother, so might you want to consider when you enter the world of dating.
First, there’s the profile for whatever dating site you choose. It’s been stated time and time again, but it could use a reprise - humor doesn’t always translate well on the internet, particularly when you’re dealing with sarcasm. In person, you use your voice, your facial expression, everything else about you to soften the blow of a harsh remark. Even the most dry and deadpan deliveries usually have some sort of cue to indicate that it’s humor, either before or after. Text is a different medium, with a different set of cues.
“Well, fine,” you might be thinking to yourself. “I’ll tone down the humor on my profile, and then wow my date in person.” And you might very well be right. After all, lots of people are funny - really funny. Just two points to consider, I beg of you.
First, remember that one oft-used phrase in the comedy business is “know your audience.” And you really don’t, yet. So tread carefully. That long anecdote about that self-absorbed actress-wannabe waitress you had might be hilarious - or it might not if your date was once an actress-waitress. In person it will be even easier to suss out your date’s sense of humor, so you might want to wait until after your first date - or until after you get a better handle on the situation - to really try to make them laugh.
Which brings me to point number two: You’re looking for a good match, not an eager audience. Don’t get so caught up in performing that you forget to actually get to know your date, and allow them to get to know you. It’s easy for many to hide behind humor, but it can be exhausting, both for them and their partners. You’re looking for someone who appreciates all aspects of you, not just the funny parts. So relax, and attempt to be yourself. Chances are, that’s just funny enough.