Contributed by: kellyseal on Thursday, May 19 2011 @ 09:14 am
Last modified on
It seems when I find myself happily in a relationship, my exes and dates from the past come out of the woodwork to "check in" and see if I want to date again. I don't think I'm alone in this. How many times are we approached and asked out, even by total strangers, when we are already in a relationship?
Maybe it's because we're happy and at peace with ourselves: the kind of self-assurance you can acquire by being in a relationship is very attractive to others. There's something sexy about confidence, happiness, and freedom of self.
But it's important to know that this is true when you're not in a relationship as well. Cultivating your own happiness, self-confidence and sense of peace are big attractors for your love life. Following are some tips to help you with this.
Feed your spirit. Do you have a love for pets, traveling, or skydiving? Instead of waiting for a partner to share your passions with, enjoy them yourself! When you're excited about what you're experiencing, it's contagious. (You might find it's easier to meet people and introduce romance to the mix as well.)
Spend time with uplifting people. It's easy to go out with friends and colleagues to complain about work and relationships (or lack thereof). While this might make you feel a little better in the short term, it can lead to feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, and depression in the long run. Instead of giving in to your need to vent about frustrations, try going out with people who lift your spirits. Whether they are creative, spiritual, eccentric, or nurturing, people who enjoy life are positive role models for changing our own tendencies and behavior. Plus, their enthusiasm is contagious.
Make a list for you. Think of all of your great qualities and list them out on a piece of paper. Remind yourself why you are a fun, engaging, unique and wonderful person. We become so used to analyzing what's wrong with us, we don't spend enough time cultivating the things we like. These are important qualities to remember!
Be thankful. As cheesy as it sounds, having a sense of gratitude about your life every day can lead to long-term feelings of peace, contentment and happiness, all of which contribute to the "irresistible" factor in attracting people to you. This is not a denial of problems you encounter in life, but rather an affirmation of the good things that come to you as well.
Be open. Remember when you were a kid and curious about the world around you? Every new person was a monumental meeting. If you tap into that sense of wonder and possibility now as an adult, you'll find that your opportunities will grow.