Contributed by: kellyseal on Monday, December 24 2012 @ 11:32 am
Last modified on
As much as we like romantic movies and seeing the handsome hero chase after the beautiful girl, these stories have also skewed our perception of what love really means.
Many woman tend to be romantic when it comes to love, and if a guy doesn't deliver in the hearts and flowers department, all bets are off. But this thinking can be counter-productive to real, lasting relationships.
The reason? People often mistake romantic gestures as the leading sign of a good relationship. Instead of two individuals creating a partnership together, romantics tend to look at relationships as something to be pursued and won. They expect their love lives to be filled with non-stop passion or they aren't satisfied. Some even create drama to keep the emotions running high. But this isn't sustainable in the long run.
I'm not suggesting that relationships become robotic with no passion or romance - quite the opposite. I believe that real love comes from a sense of shared adventure, mutual respect, support, and love from each partner, rather than a sense of being rescued or chased or in a constant flux between emotional highs and lows.
Romantics view relationships in unhealthy ways, and then are disappointed that their love lives are not what they'd hoped. For example, a romantic might say:
When you let go of this idealized thinking about your love interest, it leads to a happier love life. You can retrain your thinking by giving yourself a little perspective. Here's a healthier, more realistic approach:
Romance is an exciting part of any relationship. But letting go of unrealistic expectations so you can enjoy true and lasting love, is even better.