Contributed by: kellyseal on Tuesday, August 02 2011 @ 09:20 am
Last modified on
I was standing in line at the grocery store recently when I overheard this conversation between a man and woman:
Him: Hey, what's up?
Her: Hi, how are you?? Missed you last night at Sonia's party...
Him: Yeah, it's been really busy lately. We should all get together sometime when it calms down.
Her: Great, how about tomorrow?
Him: Umm....tomorrow isn't good for me. We'll catch up soon.
Her: Ok, how about the day after tomorrow?
Him: Uhh, I've gotta run. Tell Sonia hey.
Her: I was thinking we could go to the beach...it's been so nice lately.
Him: I really should go. Talk to you later. (He turns quickly and walks away.)
Her: Okay, then I'll call you tomorrow to figure out the details. See you Sunday!
As you can see, this conversation didn't end so well for her. Instead of engaging him in conversation, she bombarded him with requests and he felt overwhelmed. You may be an independent, no-nonsense kind of person, but this doesn't mean that you show your interest by being forceful or demanding. Even if he was interested in her, she just killed her chances of having a date with him. He's too overwhelmed to continue their conversation, and at this point, will likely screen her calls.
Contrary to some movie themes, dating isn't about knowing what you want and going after it, it's more like a dance: you engage, reach out, and then see what happens. It's crucial to keep an open heart and mind, instead of trying to control a conversation or situation.
While the interaction between the man and woman at the grocery store seems exaggerated, these kind of encounters happen every day, even if they are more subtle. Asking a man or woman out on a date shouldn't feel like an attack or an order. It should flow in the conversation; first, two people must connect. The most important part of any relationship is how you communicate, whether you're meeting someone for the first time or been with them for ten years. Being respectful, curious, and engaging is the best way to let someone know you're interested.