Online dating is...well, let's just say it's not the easiest thing you'll ever do. It falls somewhere between “Waiting in line at the DMV” and “Your friend vomiting on you while you hold her hair after a night of too many tequila shots” on the frustration scale.
And yet, we can't keep ourselves away. There's something undeniably alluring about clicking profiles and swiping right, so we make the best of it and keep on going.
No doubt you have an online dating horror story of your own – or maybe even enough to fill an entire anthology – but you don't have to stumble from one bad date to another. There are good dates to be had too, and these 7 rules will help you find them.
- Get Online: This is gonna sound crazy, but you can't meet someone online if you're not online in the first place. I know taking the plunge is scary, but it's less scary than not taking the plunge. Stop procrastinating and brave that first step.
- Prioritize: You probably have a laundry list of Wants and Don't Wants, and that list is holding you back. Knowing what you want and need in a relationship is a good thing, but narrowing a person down to a list of qualities is limiting. Is anyone really going to match up with every single thing? Probably not, so prioritize your list and focus only on the top few entries.
- Understand The Algorithms: Online dating sites seem mysterious at first glance, but their inner workings are hardly sorcery. Algorithms work by analyzing both what you say explicitly and the behavior you exhibit. So if you say you're into tall, dark, and handsome but tend to click on shorter blondes, the algorithm will adjust to present you with matches you'll actually be interested in based on your behavior.
- Stay Short And Sweet: Shorter profiles tend to fair better than longer profiles. What you want is something brief but informative and intriguing. One sentence won't cut it, but one hundred is too many. The goal is to...
- Create A Curiosity Gap: All those annoying headlines from BuzzFeed and Upworthy? This is why they're so successful. They create what's called a “curiosity gap” by offering enough information to pique your interest, and nothing more. Describe yourself if a few fascinating words, and leave them wanting more.
- Be Positive: Use positive language in your online dating profile. Talk about what excites you, what you're passionate about, and the dreams you have for the future. People want to be around others who make them feel good, not those who dwell on the negative.
- Think Like A Marketer: You are the product you're selling. Who is your audience? And what is most likely to hook them? If you know who you want to attract, you can figure out how to attract them. You'll have the most success when you can target your profile to the partner you want.