In a bygone era, online dating was heavily stigmatized. It was considerd the province of desperate weirdos and would-be ax murderers, while the rest of us upstanding citizens were stuck dating the old fashioned way.
Today things are different. Dating services are so ubiquitous that it's easy to assume they're a requirement for a successful romantic life. The FOMO has fully kicked in – in 2015, if you're not online dating, you live in constant fear that you're missing out on something, and someone, amazing.
But hang on. Is that any better? We agree that pressuring people out of online dating was a bad idea, so why are we ok with the opposite?
Newsflash: it's the 21st century and you can date however you want. If you love Tinder, swipe until carpal tunnel sets in. If you don't, delete the app and don't look back. Maybe online dating isn't for you and that's a-ok.
How do you know it's time to quit digital dating? If any of the following sounds like you, it's time to take a cue from Frozen and let it go.
- Your offline social life is suffering. Online dating is supposed to make you more connected with people, not less. Pings and push notifications should not distract you from real life interactions. You don't want to be the person who's out and about but constantly glued to their phone.
- You're constantly stressed out about it. Why so serious? Dating is supposed to be fun, but it's easy to forget that when you know hundreds of potential mates are only a click away. Maybe you feel obligated to meet a monthly quota of dates, or to upload a new picture every day, or to answer each message as soon as it arrives. Pause. Breathe. Anxiety and neurotic behavior should not be side effects of online dating.
- You're not yourself online. You're told over and over again that it's important to put your best foot forward. And it is, but take that to extremes and you may find you don't even recognize the person in the profile. If your perfect online identity doesn't match the offline one at all – especially if you don't even like the fake person – kill them off and try something new.
- You're too picky, shallow, or indecisive. Online dating can bring your not-so-flattering qualities straight into the spotlight. With so many romantic possibilities at our finger tips, we tend to get unfairly picky and shallow – more so than we would be in real life. We're constantly worried that if we choose someone, we're missing someone better. And that might mean not choosing at all.
And finally, the #1 reason to quit online dating: you're over it.
Yes, even in 2015, it's totally ok to decide you're just not that into online dating. If you're bored, and doing it out of obligation instead of actual interest, kiss the computer goodbye. Some breakups are for the best.