People like to make a big deal out of first impressions. We even have a cutsy instructive saying about them: "You never get a second chance to make a first impression."
All that emphasis on first impressions isn't without cause. It's a lot harder to change someone's mind later than it is to make sure they develop the right impression in the first place. Just think of another famous saying: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." If you never break it, you'll never have to fix it, so pay attention to the impressions you're creating with each message, each phone call, and each date. A bad first impression could very well mean never getting a second chance - or a second date - to impress someone.
Here are five suggestions for making a first impression you won't have to fix:
- Don't look like you just rolled out of bed after an all night bender at the local frat house. You shouldn't look like you spent hours getting ready, obsessing over every detail, either, but a little effort (and basic hygiene) goes a long way. Shower, shave, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and make sure you smell nice. Dress in something that's flattering, comfortable, and doesn't look like it came out of the laundry basket. The best first date outfits are stylish without being trendy, and make you feel confident and attractive.
- Arrive on time. Members of my family are notoriously late for everything so I blame my DNA for my chronic tardiness, but there are few excuses for being late on a first date and your defective genes are definitely not one of them. When you fail to show up on time, your date will think that you're unreliable, disorganized, rude, and disinterested. And in return, your date might fail to be waiting for you when you finally do show up.
- Keep the focus on your date. Your date should be the center of your attention at all times, not the attractive person you notice walking their dog across the street or the hottie server at the restaurant. You should also never bring a friend along on a date unless it's explicitly clear from the beginning, for all parties involved, that the date is a group activity.
- Hold a competent, interesting conversation. Don't dominate the conversation on a date - be sure you're asking at least as many questions as you're answering, and show your genuine interest in getting to know your date better by asking follow up questions as well. Show off your sense of humor, save the most controversial topics for later, and don't be afraid of a little silence when it happens.
- Remain in the present. No date wants to spend an evening hearing every sordid detail about your past relationships. Failure to concentrate on your current date because you're too busy talking about a past date is a great way to guarantee that you will never see that person again. Keep positive and stay in the moment.