The year is 2015, so our obsessive attachment to our electronic devices is nothing new. Regardless of your feelings on the matter, technology has changed the way we do almost everything, including dating. Gone are the days of embarrassment over online dating. There's hardly anyone left who hasn't tried it – or, at the very least, knows someone who did.
But just because it's commonplace doesn't mean it's all smooth sailing. Whether you're a starry-eyed newcomer or a grizzled veteran, you may be surprised to stumble upon online dating's dirty little secrets.
Beware of these common pitfalls that are often left out of the conversation.
- It's a lot of work. Online dating is rarely a “build it and they will come” situation. Writing your profile, answering match questions, keeping your photos updated, sending and replying to messages, even simple swiping – all of it is a major time-suck. Be prepared to invest if you want to see results. On the other hand, it's also easy to get obsessed at the expense of your productivity. You may need to strike out a couple of times before you find a healthy balance between the two extremes.
- Intimacy happens at an accelerated pace (and isn't always real). Online dating has a way of sweeping you up into a fantasy. Everything seems to move faster. You hit it off with someone over messages and suddenly you're already planning your romantic future together, even though you've never even met. Real intimacy takes a significant amount of time and trust to build, so be cautious of mistaking digital pseudo-intimacy for the real thing.
- Commitment phobia is a real side effect. Sure, commitment phobia exists offline too – it's hardly a phenomenon unique to online dating, but online dating exaggerates the symptoms. With so many options available at your fingertips at all times, it can be tempting to play the field instead of settling down. Even if you have a genuine connection, you may be left with the constant fear that someone better is out there and you're missing out. You'll never be happy if you (or your partner) is constantly second-guessing your relationship.
- Catfishing isn't made up for an MTV show. Everyone goes into online dating thinking there's no way it could happen to them. Most of us will date unscathed, but that doesn't mean predators aren't out there. Scams range from the mildly irritating to the downright destructive, and you are not invincible. Keep your wits about you, watch for red flags and Google stalk if you must.
It's not all love at first swipe, but if you swipe smart, it could be love sooner than you think.