I'm 21/ male, was looking for a long-term serious relationship. I'll say I finally did find someone, or technically, someone found me. She lives so close to me, and we go to the same college, and things are just so easy and perfectly convenient. I truly can say that I found someone I love. Someone who has changed the direction of my life for the better. I seriously am thankful I made myself an OkCupid account. Without it, I don't know where I would be right now.

Been on the website for years. Sent hundreds of messages, each unique to the woman's profile, usually asking questions. The very, very, very few that do reply (1 out of 30 messages) do so usually in one sentence with no follow up questions, as if I was bothering them in the mall asking them for a few minutes of their time to take a survey.

Bottom line OKCUPID is a waste of time unless your a skinny, starving artist with tattoos and wears just the frames of prescription glasses. No woman wants a a guy a boring old 25-30 year old guy who goes to the gym, eats right, does not use drugs, questions religion, makes enough money to only work a few months out of the year.

OkCupid is not a dating app, OkCupid is a little girl's in a grown woman's body fantasy prince search app.

I met the love of my life on okcupid, and I made the profile for fun with no intention of finding true love. My advice: don't be an asshole to people who seem genuinely interesting, and don't just talk to any old fool who messages you. I didn't respond to matches that were below 95%

Please don't waste your time.....

OKC is an intriguing site. It allows you to answer a never-ending series of questions to try to match you up. Unfortunately, I have found the women boarding on paranoid.

Perhaps after being out of the 'dating business' for over 30 years, I'm being naive. I answered over 2000 questions with brutal honesty. I posted pictures that were less than 6 months old. I even took a few of those inane tests. My response? Less than 9 per week. Women who answered an email? Zero. Zip. Nada.

Ladies, a bit of advise: Not all men are pervs. There are, I sure, a few (like me) who are honest in their responses, have integrity, have a good sense of humor, and really want to be with you if you'll let them. Do all men have those traits? I can't speak for the 20 or 30-somethings, but for us 50-somethings my read is: I've learned how to treat a lady like a Lady and that should be a good place to start any relationship. 3MMan

I met my wife on this site. I was giving up hope and the day I was going to delete my account, I met the woman of my dreams. Just keep persevering.

This is advice for my fellow guys. OKC worked for me. I know everyone's experience is different, but don't listen to these dudes who say OKC is a waste. They're probably doing it wrong. Three basic tips for guys like me. Average-looking guys in their 20's who are fairly interested in getting into a relationship with a girl.

Three tips: Cast a wide net, send the right kind of message, and know who not to message.

1 - Cast a wide net. Just like in the real world, most girls on OKC expect guys to make the first move. So you gotta reach out to them. And most of the time, they're not gonna respond. You just gotta accept that. Rejection sucks, but the sooner you accept it, the more successful you'll be on this site. So cast a wide net. Message a lot of girls, and not just your perfect girl. My experience has been that for every 30-ish girls I message, 1 will write back. So yeah, you gotta be cool with writing a lot of messages.

2 - The right kind of message. My experience has been that if you just say something like "hey, I'm John," or "hi there, what's your name," she's not gonna write back. These girls are getting hit with lots of messages, and they have their choice, so you gotta set yourself apart. Here's what worked for me. Read their profile. Yeah, actually read it. Find two things she wrote about that you can relate to, or find interesting, or have something to say about. And then ask a question. Always ask a question, b/c it's easier for her to respond that way. In other words, don't go for the jugular right off the bat with "hey sexy, wanna get a drink tonight?" That aint gonna fly. Instead, try something like "hey, I'm Steve. I've never tried Ethiopian food before, but I like skiing too. Where have you skied on the East Coast?" Most of the time she wont write back, but every now and then she will. And then you're in. Keep the conversation going. Keep asking questions. Don't focus on her body. Don't tell her how hot she looks. You can say you like her nose ring, but don't say she's sexy as hell. And don't ask her to meet up in the real world until you've had a fair amount of time to message back and forth, and she's comfortable that (1) you're not crazy, (2) you're not just trying to meet up to bang, and (3) she thinks you're an interesting person and that meeting up wont be totally boring or awkward. I know a lot of guys on this forum say that girls on OKC never wanna meet up, but my guess is that these dudes are doing one of these things wrong.

3 - Who not to message. Casting a wide net can be time-consuming. You gotta put in the time if you want results, but some girls you just shouldn't waste your time with: 1. Girls who say they're here just to meet new friends. Not sure why you're on a dating site if you just wanna meet new friends. 2. Girls who dont show their whole body in their profile pic, and girls with only one or two pics. If they're not willing to be honest about what they look like, forget it. 3. Girls with lots of pics of themselves in their underwear/extremely sexy profile. Sure, she's hot, but every single horndog dude on OKC is gonna be drooling at her door. Just forget her, she aint gonna message back. Also, I'm always suspicious of whether girls like that really wanna meet someone.

I said three tips, but here's a fourth: Put some time into your profile. Don't make it all about sex. Actually, don't even mention sex. I think girls on OKC are really suspicious that most the guys on there just want to find a booty call. So make sure she sees you are a real guy with real interests, and are looking for someone fun to get to know. And put lots of pics of yourself - all of them with your shirt on. Don't write a damn novel, but don't write less than a paragraph.

If you send the right kind of message, and cast a wide net, and have a good profile, eventually you'll be chatting with four or five girls on a regular basis. That might not sound like a lot, but if you are how I was, and joined a dating site b/c you were sick of hitting on the same dumbass girls and bars and clubs, it will be a nice change to have some "prospects" on a regular basis outside of the drunken party context. And if you keep the convo going, you will eventually meet up with at least one or two of them. And once you meet up, you're on your own!

OKC worked for me. Hope this helps, and don't listen to the haters. Just be smart, not creepy, and honest with yourself, and you'll be good, dude.

I'm supposed to be studying. Talk about procrastination. .....

This site is geared for females who enjoy filling out questionaires and surveys, and fantasizing about romantic encounters.
For guys who are actually looking to meet women, the site is next to useless.
I'm sure there are success stories, but speaking from personal experience, I can hook-up with more women in bars/clubs in a month, than I could on OkCupid in a year.
The main difference being, that people in bars/clubs are actually there to meet and socialize. Most of the users on OKCupid are looking for an online hangout to occupy time.

A lot of guys are complaining about how flakey the girls can be on OKCupid. While I can't speak for all of the girls on the site, I wanted to post this to help give the guys with some insight as to why they may not get a good response from the females.

Here are the main reasons why I won't respond or message a guy:

1. Lackluster Profile - If in each question area, there's one 1 or two sentences to describe you, that's a huge turn-off. I'm not looking for 10 paragraphs in each section but if I see that you're profile is barely filled out, that sends me the message hat you didn't really care enough to describe yourself. So why should I care to get to know you?

2. Creepy/Weird Photos/Lack of Attraction - Pictures with your shirt off, of your car, or just plain inappropiate, unflattering pics scare me off. Look, us human beings are superficial creatures when it comes to looks. We all like things that look good to us. If you can't put up decent (UP-TO-DATE) photos of yourself, then you probably won't get a lot of messages.

3. A "Dealbreaker" Profile Comment - When it comes to dating, we all have standards and certain things we like and don't like in a partner. I think it's normal to have 1 or 2 dealbreakers that guarantees a relationship not happening. Maybe, it's a person having kids. Or a person doing drugs. Perhaps it's a religion issue (for example, I won't seriously date anyone who's not a Christian.) If I see that you have a dealbreaker in your profile, I won't be interested in dating you. Being friends is a different story though.

4. Messaging Etiquette - A message with excessive grammar and spelling mistakes, all-caps typing, or seemingly unintelligible messages are super unattractive. If a 4th grader has better writing skills then you, that's a major turn-off.

5. Nervousness - Honestly, some of us girls may have never done online dating before and are really nervous for whatever reason. Especially when it comes to meeting someone in person. Sometimes, I don't message or respond to a guy because I freak out at the possibility of hitting it off and meeting him!

6. Laziness - Yep, sometimes, we are just insanely lazy about responding, especially if we're being bombarded with tons of messages a day.

Really, these are the main reasons for someone not getting a response from me. Hopefully this helps some people into understanding why they're not getting lots of responses!

Ive been on dating sites for over two years now! At first I didnt get any responses at all! Then, I realized it's because my profile and pics sucked. I sorted that out and got some dates on POF, but the response rate was awful thoughout!... and also have to admit, none of the dates took my fancy and I wasnt happy with security of pof, so I gave up on that. By sharp contrast okcupid, for me, is very easy to get responses and even first messages to me from girls... girls I actualy find attractive sometimes!! But, the down side is they are way more flaky than pof girls.. their messages suddenly stop. One even suggested meeting, and when I said yes she stopped replying! I've been on cupid a long while now, even swapped numbers with some girls for them to stop replying! Normally the ones who contact me first are honestly not my type... and to be fair, it would be wrong of me to date them, because I dont feel attracted to them, really. If I message a bunch of women I'll get 1 or 2 replies, which makes things interesting and keeps up the possibility I'll meet someone. The site suffers from a lack of potential matches though and it could really do with an 'avoid this area' command, because I dont want to travel to london to meet girls, but if i increase my distance it puts lots of girls from london in there! So, I have to change my location and search a small radius!!! Also, the app kind of sucks! If you're listening cupid PLEASE, PLEASE sort out the fact that if I browse a women's profile in the long list of matches that comes up from a search, then the back button will take me out of the profile and to the same place down the list of matches I have previously got to! Please dont make me scroll though 20-30 (... only if I search miles and miles!) matches to find the one single point I had got to..!

Now, its got lots of good things going for it. In terms of interface its the best of the best. Its free. I like the tests and stuff. It just lacks serving, for me, the actual point I joined for (to meet women in person!!).

I can't comment on others' experiences, only my own. I've used various dating sites (match, okcupid, etc.) I've met a very few women and not ended up dating any. I have had a very low response rate when I've sent emails or greetings.
I'm over 50, good looking, very fit , have good communication skills and a sense of humor BUT I don't make $100k/yr
I can only conclude that most attractive women on these sites, over 50 have a pretty high opinion of themselves (that's fine) but if they think they'll find the man of their dreams (who, by the way, can be only 2 years older but 8 years younger) Guess what? you are DREAMING! You're on a hunt for big game but you're in the gang that can't shoot straight. All the while, tick, tick, tick goes the clock. another wrinkle another lb put on. Pretty soon no guys will be even looking at you. I know I sound bitter but I'm not. I just think a lot of the above average women on these sites have unrealistic expectations..........a good, kind, loving man is hard to find....a good man who's good looking, kind, attentive and has dough and thinks your the cat's meow? a needle in a haystack!

I agree about the women in their 50's if they are not 40 lbs over weight they are looking for guys much younger. Bad news for them. They might find a younger guy to put them through the sexual paces but they will do the age math soon enough and be gone. Sad how many women are just plain fat. and sad their are no women who really want a guy like they say they want. I'm average for 58 active play tennis financially secure don't smoke drink or do drugs and gainfully employed with two degrees. Can't even get a response from 95% of who I e-mail. Its the same on all the sites. Really sad women get into their 50's and hate men.

I agree. I'm a woman. I'm closer to 60. In my particular category I'm an outcast :) . I'm looking for Casual Sex but explain why and do say, "I don't screw around." Women don't respond to stuff like that. I have an inside connection - me! But I was honest and a little punny.

The tests for lesbians are very few. I can take generic tests but uh, things are a little different from those not in our shoes.

Curious, in the women looking for women (it's actually girls looking for girls AND I'M NOT a "girl" for crying out loud) there are a sufficient number of women in the 50s (sorry, I can't recommend you try there). Some scary, some not. It's not a bunch of 25 - 35 year old wanting to date richer guys. There are some advantages to my position.

At any rate none of this matters. If I charge a subscription, it comes across as OKCupid. Yep, that's exactly what want to see on our joint account. I also did a search on dating sites and dag gum it (is that the expression?) I saw a photo of me. Yup, just what I want my friends to see. So few are likely affected by this but it is what stopped me from joining. I figure the photo can come - briefly and timed ... did that on Linked-in... if I ever get a hit - yes, take the tests and *censored* about the inaccuracy in your profile, answer important questions, and show interest. In zoosk and another website, if someone reads my profile and I want to read theirs, I have to charge to look. The odds are good in my situation, they'd get rich and I'm almost on a fixed income (kidding about #2).
OKcupid has an edge here. I don't have to pay to see "we" have nothing in common.

The comment of 50 years old dude sounds hilarious. He is over 50 and sounds so full of himself. Listen ,man, get real, the woman in any age is woman and she has something that you dont, so you have to work very hard to get it. Job doesnt fall for you from the sky, right,?Money too and food,also, I guess, so why do you think women should? I am 28 years old model and just being sweet enough to give you an advice if you couldn't figure that out yet during your life. Go to the site, any of them, be nice,ask politely what does she likes to do in her free time, whats her favorite flowers, food etc. Then when you talk to her second time, send her the flowers she likes, ask her to go out to the place she likes, get her drink she likes ( cos I suppose you asked her that before,right?) - remember, you are at your job to win her heart, Don't ask anything else except of described above, its all about her and for now nothing about you. And believe me it will worth it. The trick is you do not take her to the place and ask what she likes - you should know that before getting to that place. And you will see what happens, in fact the miracle will happen. You don't have to make millions to show that you trully care. The nice arrangement of flowers and going out doesn't cost much at all, but you will get so much pleasure of seeing her smile and enjoying herself and guess what? She will give you what you need - she will tell you compliments etc etc, later but not before, because YOU ARE MAN and thats YOUR JOB to make first step, first move to make her like you at least. Otherwise, be sure, while calculating someone's wrinkles and pounds in front of PC u will get whole bunch of your own and will sit there with full pride and DEMAND- EVERYONE LOVE ME!

You are a 28 year old model. Most models are thin and attractive. When you are 35, guys will be looking past you to check out cuter girls in their 20's. Enjoy the attention while it lasts. It doesn't last long.

You missed his point. Women in their 50's are marginally attractive at best. Most are no longer attractive at all. And time is not on their side.
It's pretty much now or never. Most single women in their 50's will grow old and be alone until they die.

It's harsh, but nature is not kind to females when it comes to aging.

Like any on-line dating site, OKCupid favors those who write and present themselves well. I spent a couple of hours a night answering questions for the first week. By the second week, I was getting good contacts. Every woman I asked out accepted and showed up. By the end of the fourth week, I met F. We have been together for about 20 months now. I highly recommend this site.

IP banned me for no reason, and only made it to say, "We are having technical difficulties."

I made an account, uploaded a picture, filled out some things on my profile, answered some questions and sent a message to someone with a high match%. Next day I get the "having technical difficulties" message. I googled what this might mean and results showed that it might be from being banned, and I found I could only make a new account after changing my IP, clearing my cache, and clearing my cookies. I'm only 19 so it isn't that I'm a creepy old guy messaging young girls, but it contributes to my sense of hopelessness in ever finding the right person.

Complete frustrating waste of time.

I've sent message after message. Each one is polite and written especially for the specific woman. I try to put a little humor in each one and to let her know I actually read her profile. I'm decent, educated, fit, and at least of average looks.

How many replies have I gotten back? zero. I've gotten no feedback and have no idea what I'm doing wrong.

online dating is *censored* !!!

men i give you a piece of advice (men only i don't care if you're not my gender cause you wouldn't understand it anyway), make money it's gonna get bad and forget about it.

these chicks don't deserve the attention, don't waste your time.

Dont be frustrated if you are really good looking guy, no more than 40 and no less than 28, and taller than 6'0'' - consider that today is your lucky day and I just wrote to you :)
D.

Ive never done any other online sites before, but I was a member for a few months last year. I met some really interesting people, one of which I've been dating for months now which is why I'm no longer on the site. He was someone who I was technically NOT a match with...according to the questionairre... I think we were like a 50% "ya'll got issues" match... so I wouldn't put too much faith in their match system... a lot of dudes lie about age, body type, use old photos, etc. Its not like we aren't gonna find out!

I have interacted for 6 years on OKC.
I find the match percentages the best way to prioritize possible connections of any site.
The match questions give me a very good idea about what kind of reception I will get.
I have had very good success with getting responses to my messages.
I agree with the observation about being the best online dating site.
I have developed a strategy that brings results with the least amount of effort.
1. I look at the photos first. I have discovered women whose don't give me any idea about what their figure looks like, aren't really serious about connecting.
2. I look at the match percentages and if the match percentage is 89% or below, and the enemy percentage is 11% or greater, we wont have a basis for connection.
3. I look at the questions and if they haven't answered at least 100 questions, they are not ready to message.
4. I then look at the common questions about sex and I have about five questions that if they haven't answered, I know we will not have a fit.
5. Then I look at the essays they have written to see if we will have anything to talk about before and after sex.

I have also answered the questions I want to see matched, and out of the 700 questions I have answered, I have written additional comments explaining my answer and giving a better idea of my attitudes for 650 of them. The 50 without additional comments are so obvious comments would add very little.

Wow. You sound creepy!

He's actually trying and yet you call him creepy f*ck you, and all females like you. You can never win with people like you.

I joined because my 2 sons found realy nice ladies on that site and have solid relationships. But for me, I had only a few responses, one got pissed because I misunderstood what she said, the other 2 were scammers from South Africa. I reported the one, the others profile has disapeared. Good site for the very young, anyone 30 and up-go else where.

I met a guy on OkCupid a year and a half ago. He was exactly like he described on his profile and I fell in love with him. A week ago, he proposed and we are getting married in August! Obviously, I'm a fan of OkCupid :)

I had some bad experiences with online dating site and okc is one of them. Some people think it's rude to not reply and they would rather have someone tell them in the face that they are not interested, how ever i think once you tell them some of the people get pissed too, so whether you tell them or not they ended up mad and started to say rude and offensive things.

why do I say that??

Well, I have been on both cupid and pof and this is how they differ.

pof: high no of female's to chose from, poor response rate (poss due to high male/female ratio??), poor chance I will find the girl attractive once I meet her (although I did get invite back from first date with 1 girl). Hard to land a response, but if I do then very easy to proceed to a date.
cupid: Very easy to get replies (compared to pof), which keeps you going really... but not many girls to choose from though. Girls seem to like chatting and sending endless messages back and forth, but some flake out big time when you mention meeting up. Some even exchange numbers (most will), but flake out before a meet for one reason or another... maybe my txt skills are lame... maybe there's so many guys someone "better" came along and stole her/them?? who knows. I've got two more cupid girls lined up now and im going to try to land a date before they suck me into some long winded attempt to become their pen-pal and waste my time. As for pof I've deleted my account, as the amount of effort required is just too great and the chances too low. Cupid does feel like it has more promice though, although the smaller female user base is making me run out of possibilities now.

I would like to stress, as other men here have, that you are almost certainly wasting your time on this site. (And you will likely spend a LOT of time on this site, because there is no suitable way to present yourself adequately without providing a lot of time consuming personal information.)

I've been on this site for some years, and I've never had any kind of introduction that had any promise of a relationship in it. Few women seem to take meeting men seriously, and my impression is that they are all just looking for someone to support them. If you've got money, you may have a chance, but is that the kind of relationship you really want?

OkCupid is the BEST ENGINEERED free dating site. The questions give anyone a pretty good idea if compatibility might be a possibility. I fully realize that odds of compatibility are slim and have realistic expectations but I think this site is hands down the best shot.

So let's sum it up shall we?

1) The women on OKCupid, especially those who are attractive don't want to be messaged.

2) Men have no chance on this site due to point 1 and the fact that they are never good enough, no matter if the female has any business making judgements (hint hint)

3) It's OK for women to post a 5000 item criteria list, but expect men to take them as they are.

4) Under no circumstance will women extend the courtesy of replying to messages at least to politely acknowledge receipt and lack of interest.

As a male, I can look forward to spending countless hours throwing darts at an invisible dartboard with little to no feedback unless I'm a Calvin Klein model with dumptruck full of cash. How encouraging. I think I'm going to join a monastery. All hope is lost......

I joined up to OKC due to a serious injury that left me bed bound for a few months. It wasn't with the thought of actually dating, more passing the time while I was immobile. I found the quizzes most humorous and the questions funny but also far reaching.
I spoke with many women out of friendship, as I wasn't looking for a date. To my amazement I found dates lining up. My pictures we're/are recent and I'm honest with the questions.

People forget that your profile is only a window of who you are. The rest comes from your communications skills there after and most of all your honesty.

I must say,OKCupid is THE best dating site I have ever been on, although totally by accident on my part.

I have had OK luck with OK Cupid. At least it's free. But that actually maybe the down side. Because it's free, I get the impression that people are just passing time with it. So the money commitment of many other sites seems to weed out a lot of people just wasting time, or who are flat out dishonest.

I think the set up is great. Make a paying version of it where I can meet other paying members (who are then serious) and it would be better.

One problem with the matching algorithm is that at least many of the questions are about politics, abortion, gay rights, etc. Where I am from we're mostly homogeneos
on these, which means I get high match percentages from many women whom I wouldn't associate with. Nor am I the kind of guy that most women would want to walk on the same sidewalk. ( IRL women literally cross the street when i walk down it. ) So if the matching math were correct most of the women would have below 40%. If like me you have trouble meeting women IRL, a dating site will not help. I found getting a pet to be a better investment.

Here is the problem with online dating: Women want men to be much much better looking than they are on those sites. Good luck with that. I have gotten dates with attractive women on this site, and I'm good looking and skinny/athletic/muscular.

Any guy that thinks online dating is reasonable either:

a) Is content with anything he can get.
b) Never dated attractive women.
c) Enjoys sitting on a computer all day.

How can people complain about something that is both free and voluntary? Ladies..I'm really sorry that there are rude obnoxious guys online but face it, there are alot of rude obnoxious guys in the real world. All the site does is give them the courage to actually talk to a woman. Guys...if you're not successful at getting women to talk to you online just how successful are you on the real world. Maybe you just dont know how to communicate with women.
I've had dozens of dates from okcupid, several relationships and I've been in a relationship with a woman from okcupid for the last year and a half.
Dating can be a minefield for some and a mystery for others. The dating world is filled with trolls and monsters, misogynistic a-holes and mercenary gold diggers. Loser guys that can't take a "no thank you" like a gentleman and beautiful women who wont give you a second look. Get over it.

If you are the one in one thousand lucky enough to find a real lady on this site, congradulations. If you want to gloat over that and in a round about way put men down who haven't had your luck, thats your perogative. I wonder what your attitude would be if you either found not one woman or found they were not real. its easy to talk like you did when you are one of the very very few people on this site that has had success. However, you are missing the point of the negative comments/feedback.

Hey, I have been on OK Cupid now for at least a couple of years ... Im starting to call it "OK Stupid" ! Im an intelegent & good looking guy ... Whats the problem ladies ? You know, really, I know the competition cant b that stiff ... and you say you want a relationship ... my question is: "what the heck are you looking for ?"

Hi, guys! Im also on Ok Cupid now for around 6 months. Im actually looking only for friends there but im also open for relationship if I find the right one.

Ok Cupid is a good site but for me personally I never responsed to emails that were only one sentence or only HI or weird comments. And woman get so many of that kind of 3 word sentences.

And the truth is that woman usually respond only to guys that they feel attracted too from the pictures thats the way it is. So for all of you men looking for woman on Ok Cupid don't be mad at them if they don't respond, don't take this things too personal, you actually dont know the person you just see their pics and their profiles.

Got on today already gotta date for a weekend.

I'm a black man and I can tell you that I found that this website it's just for... mostly whites people. It will be a real waste of time for you brothers and sisters who are looking for a date. America never change.... If you see what I mean...It's really hard for a black man to have a date in this country unless he has some dope to trade with... Very sad.

I am black also. POF is a crappy site. i am a very handsome guy as many good looking women I have date agreed. Have a career, sense of humor, charisma etc. I exercise. I mean all fat women are on that site. The good looking women are all bipolar or liars or scams. Okcupid I haven't got any responses and I sent out quite a few emails. I believe 90 percent of them are fake profiles that don't have real people on them but are dead profiles. It is sad I agree with you man. I am a good guy and can't meet one lady it has been 5 years now.

I just wanted to say I love Ok cupid!!! I found my soulmate from this site, and I would have never had met him if I had not gone on this site. But Im glad to say that I found my husband from Ok cupid so I am a true believer.

Can someone give me an approximate figure as to how many messages a fairly attractive (but not stunning) woman in her 50's would get on OKCupid? I've been on the site for two weeks, have messaged about 30 women and have had 2 responses, one of them negative, one of them neutral (i.e. no follow up info) For the record I am a well established musician with a good career, some money in the bank and I don't look like a gargoyle. Each of my messages was well crafted, contained information about myself and, when possible, some humor. I am not harboring any disappointment - I meet enough women through my profession and the dating site is more of a diversion and fun activity. But I'm simply wondering if all these relatively average looking women in their late 40's to mid 50's are so incredibly swamped with messages that they just cannot respond? Or are many of the profiles fake or bots? What's going on on these sites?

In my last response to this "number of responses" question, I neglected to provide that number. Reasonably attractive women get very many. I have just read one woman's recent journal entry, in which she is complaining that she get at least 25 letters from men a day, and that these letters are only brief salutations or "hellos". She doesn't seem to appreciate that all members have already filled out self profiles, and that often these are extremely detailed and have taken many hours to produce. I can't help wondering what this woman wants from men who respond. Nothing seems good enough for her. This is typical behavior on this site, and many of the women are just plain irrational, if not crazy. Watch your step, because if you get on the wrong side of one of these, they'll roast you in their journals.

I've been on this site about two years. I've found that the women in their fifties have "issues" (problems), and there are almost NO exceptions to this rule. Their primary flaw is that they are unwilling to accept any man for a long-term relationship who isn't PERFECT. They seem to be used to living well. Yet almost all of these women harbor peculiar, eccentric ideas. While they often claim lofty educations, they impress me as relatively uneducated people whose only real skill is in English.

I actually recommend this site. I met my fiancé in there. We first messaged each other for a bit, which turned to texting. Soon after that we met, and I couldn't have asked for anyone better. :) it does take patience though. You won't meet anyone overnight.

Before you recommend anything to anyone, do some research. Its your honesty and trust on the line here. If you feel that is of little or no value, then recommend away.

Sent 33 proper messages, got 1 person to finally reply. I put a lot of work into my messages and I only get 1 reply. That's online dating service for you.

I'm a pretty above average looking guy, you know, pretty decent but come on. Sure I'll recommend the site to other guys but don't expect to get replies asap. If women standards are high in real life, standards in a dating website are about 5 levels higher. Just saying

i also recently joined and gotten no response from any of the women i've msged. do women get so many msgs that they can't bother to respond? the one woman who msged me got a nice response. unfortunately she is 100 miles away. like others, i wrote a coherent, genuine profile, am fairly attractive, and not a stalker/a**hole. i'll give it a month. if nothing pans out. too bad ladies. you blew it.

I just joined the site yesterday, I filled it out completely and honestly with a lot of detail, I'm a female and not bad looking if I do say so myself. Before I was even done filling out my profile I had about 15 views of it, then I started answering questions (which I think is a neat Idea) and views kept pouring in. I took a look at some of my matches and they were pretty sweet. The reason I did online dating is because I have a set schedule and its hard to meet people with it. As soon as I started answering questions I started getting messages, in all I got about 20 Msgs with in the first couple hours. I am looking for a longterm relationship, and I really like this site, the people seem real, nice and fun. I'm already texting one of the guys and he seems like almost perfect, I'm glad I decided to give this a try.

FOR anyone who is going to try it I would reccomend it, but be honest! Put detail into it! and answer as many questions as you can. If you're looking for a hook up state that, if youre looking for a relationship state that.

Be happy and upbeat and post actually pictures of your self. Real ones where people can see you head to toe, because If you lie about what you look like or put up edited or glorified pictures that dont actually look like you then you will be disapointed with the outcome of your matches, conversations, profile, etc.
We are HUMANS we judge on looks, anyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves. And EVERYONE has a different mindset on what "attractive" really is, so never get down on yourself about what your looks are, there will be someone out there who thinks your just amazing.

Good luck everyone! :)

I signed up with OK Cupid a few months ago, then completed the process today. After answering 231 questions and only 98.6% of 'matching' questions, whatever that means, I ran out of patience with all the stupid questions I needed to answer in the sign-up process and wondered how many more hundreds of stupid questions I'd have to answer until OK Cupid thought I was 100% match with anyone else's profiles. What a waste of time. Think I'll just stay single and not have to deal with all the online B.S.

I have not previously had problems attracting women. I have had really pretty women after me (and not for my personality). I'm definitely not ugly to most women I've encountered (I realize it's subjective). I was on OKC for a long time, and have consistently had a poor response rate. Let me emphasize: Yes I got responses from some attractive women. Yes I went on dates. Is it a good return rate for the amount of time and effort put into it? ABSOLUTELY NOT. What a farce. The most amusing part about online dating, is the large volume of mediocre, generally not-great-looking women that DEMAND total perfection before they respond. Several times women would openly say they cannot talk further because they didn't like some minor detail in my messages they didn't understand. There are a lot of bimbos on there too (they are usually considered the most attractive. I managed to communicate with a few, and it's like talking to a someone that didn't acquire a basic education. Thanks, online dating sites. You've managing to further confirm my worse fears about the opposite sex.

You can't even use basic grammar, yet you are critiquing other's intellegence? Moron!

Oh yea. And if you are actually getting responses. Question it. Chances are it's a fake profile, or an overweight woman that only takes head shots and/or hides her fat with blankets or winter coats. Hilarious people! Total joke. Women clearly have things easy, don't they?

It's an ok dating site IF you know how to search. I'm not sure what the match making programmer was smoking, but he/she got it all wrong. In fact, some of my best matches have the highest enemy % rating and the lowest match and friend %.

Really REALLY wrong. I keep getting an occasional "quiver" matches which are always awful and mismatched. Some of which are obvious fake profiles, have little to absolutely no information/pictures on their profile, or haven't logged on in almost a year.

It's an ok site with some of the worst website and matching programmers. The only reason why I don't pay for the site is because of the awful matching system. Why pay for something that's clearly broken?

I've been dating a woman I met on OKCupid for almost 8 months, and it's been wonderful. I met so many high-quality, compatible women on the site. My needs were rather specific (I'm early 50's, want an open relationship, attracted to younger artistic types), but I had confidence that what I needed and wanted was out there.

Seriously, I had probably 30 first dates over six months, with only 1-2 outright fails. About 10 resulted in a second date, and I am still friends/occasional casual partners with 5 or so of them.

The format worked very well ... unless you have unlimited time and patience to date, the problem is to screen out people with whom you will have no compatibility. Over my time on the site, I ultimately answered over 1,500 questions. I rarely dated anyone with less than 95% compatible rating. The great thing is that the questions give you a lot to talk about on a first date, and you already know many of the person's basic values.

My advice ... don't start dating until you are ready! And when you are ready, put some time into your profile, and be totally honest in both your words and your pictures.

Also, for many of the entries above, think about it ... if you are a serial failure at dating or relationships, what's the common element? You, no? Where you met the person is irrelevant.

P.S. A woman I met through regular channels (set up by mutual friends, no chemistry), turned out to be on OKCupid too. She and I a very low match score, it figures!

Okcupid.com is total garbage! Just go take a look at the forum and see what I mean. The staff does nothing at all on this site to keep the members under control, they just let trolls and creeps run wild and do what ever the hell they want. I've talked to a few decent female members on this site and they are constantly harassed.

If you say one word on the forum, even ask for help, you'll be descended on by a staggering number of 4chan trolls who insult and flame other members. The staff doesn't give a sh*t and does nothing about it.

And most of the female members are losers who's expectations are too high for what little they're actually offering. Druggies, baby momma's, alcoholics, psychos, nut cases, religious fanatics, gold diggers, rude immature and more baggage than a 747, or they're just completely full of sh*t and want the perfect guy but bring nothing to the table them self.

Okcupid is garbage because the community and the members suck, and the staff doesn't do anything to take control and make changes and ban disruptive and abusive members, especially trolls who pay for upgraded accounts but attack other members on a regular basis.

Half the members on that site don't even want to find anyone, they just like trolling and taking the tests. I've tried contacting the staff and they don't give a sh*t enough to even respond.

STAY AWAY FROM OKCUPID.COM. AVOID THIS SITE COMPLETELY, ITS A WASTE OF TIME.

I'm a male from Toronto who recently tried this site. I come from a Caribbean background, though have always been in interracial relationships. I'm looking for a genuine long term relationship, so that is what my search criteria was. Sent lots of thoughtful messages, and rarely get a response. All my pictures were respectable photos. As soon as I switched my photos to shirtless muscle photos, and pics of my luxury car I suddenly got flooded with emails from girls who clearly state in their profile that they are not superficial, looking for a nice guy with family values, nerdy, etc. Yeah right. I did end up meeting people from there, but not for the right reasons. Back to the real world for me.

I don't blame the girls really, when they've got 40 messages a day, they can afford to be picky I suppose.

Oh and Canadian girls for some reason feel compelled to put pictures of them snowboarding, climbing or atop a mountain, and pics with their dog or cat. Go figure.

Justin

I asked my son's girlfriend 'how did you meet?'. She said on OKCupid. I'd never heard of this site. I looked it up on the web..I did see a variety of pro and neg. comments..but I would say that apparently this does work. Things are lookin' good! which is the aim of the entire enterprise.

I had no experience with online dating whatsoever, but used OkCupid when I moved to a different city, where I knew absolutely no one.
I didn't feel willing to divulge much about myself, so I spent a few weeks just browsing guys in my area that seemed to be a good fit (have to admit that I only answered 60-80 questions).
Several seemed ok men as far as anyone can tell from an online profile (only a few contacted me, which makes perfect sense since my profile was almost empty and I didn't upload a photo - actually I am amazed that anyone did). But then, I noticed someone who I knew instantaneously that I had to contact. I'm still not able to explain why. And I did contact him, straight away. To make the long story short, we exchanged 4-5 emails (honest, long and thoughtful), met in person 2 weeks later (only because one of us was out of the country in between), have been dating very happily since (that's four months now) and planning to move in together soon.
I guess we were lucky.
But I think that the fact that I emailed only him made a difference. I had reasons to want to contact him and made those clear. I made an effort to say substantial things about myself and there was a great overlap of interests and values from the beginning. I don't know. That's what worked for me.

I've been on OKCupid for a year, only looking for friendship since I'm a married woman. Every single man and woman that I've met has been either emotionally disturbed, a sociopath, a pathological liar, or only looking for sex. It's been the same for all of my friends that have used the site. It's more of a meat market than anything else. Me and a friend from work are both being stalked by people from that site right now.

Avoid OKCupid if you're actually looking for a healthy relationship. Spend the money and try Match or eHarmony.

I'm a guy.
I've been on a couple dates and even sexed someone hot using the site.

All of those girls had no spine. They say they like you, they message you, talk to you and so on and then suddenly, out of nowhere, stop communicating cold. What the HELL?
They'd add me on facebook, chats, give me their numbers ( without me requesting any of these things ) and act all warm and nice for a while pretending I was the best ever and then randomly just cut me off without saying anything.

When I'd call them out on it or try to set up more meetings / chat / phone time, they'd just say "Sure! Maybe later!" and never follow up on it.

They made me feel like a piece of crap every time I'd ask and after 3-4 "maybe laters" I just moved on and stopped messaging them.

And don't say "let's just be friends" if you never intend to see someone again.

You want to know why guys are aggressive? It's because of this. You sit around leading people on giving the impression that you'll only give attention to someone who just goes out of his way to be a creeper, at which point you can go "wow back off asshole!!" if you don't like him.

Act interested or tell the person you don't want to see them. PICK ONE.

Loved it! I was on it for about 2-3 months and I did come across lot of decent lot. Honestly I barely had any weirdos there and I used to search on my own for better match than the ones that were suggested to me by the site. One thing is obvious, have to be careful on internet so giving out too much info or meeting people without much knowledge isn't quite safe. I think I met about 4 people and my 4th date was huge success! My 4th Date from OKC is my boyfriend right now. I have been dating my boyfriend more than 7 months now and OKC depicted we were 90% match :), so true! Its all in the honest search and being careful & these sites do work. If you looking for something concrete I suggest you try being honest with the match right from the beginning and sort out the "casual encounters" kind. Bottom line I give OKCupid 2 thumbs up!Good luck to everyone on it.

Boo ya. If you are young and single looking for some fun then its available. If you are looking to seriously date you can do that to. But I'm more for the first one. Takes a few days of convo before a date will be set up. Play your cards right and you will be going to the bone zone on an average of 65 percent of the time if not more.

I'm relatively new to okcupid, but so far so good. Most of the profiles I've seen seem very real. Plus, you can see how active a person's profile is. So, you know your likelihood of a response anyway. I'm an average guy, so I don't get as many responses as I feel as fair but whatever. I have been contacted by girls to though, although they weren't my type. As far as dating sites go, I think this one is very good considering it's free. I still think I have better chances at a bar or out with friends. By the way, I upgraded to A-List since they were doing it for 50% off temporarily. I got a few more responses, but it could have just been a coincidence.

If you're looking to get into online dating without breaking the bank, I think okcupid is a really good place to start. Just don't expect miracles.

First, you get what you pay for! And that is not saying much since even the ones you pay for CAN NOT provide you with the physical glance across the room and face to face conversation.

Second, my soon to be ex-husband is now on the site, though he doesn't know I know, recommended to him by his sister as place to get laid. So my still legally married husband is posing and lying. Yet another thing these online dating sites CAN NOT determine is whether or not one is lying.

One thing for sure is that it has done is shown me how deep his stupid, debase mind is!

So be warned ... there are a lot of posers on these things something that is, in my opinion, a huge waste of time weeding, and I mean a lot of weeding, through the crap and lies to find one decent person. My suggestion is join a group of people that do things your interested in step away from the keyboard and meet people and make new friends and maybe find someone who is special.

<p>hey guys its awful site for dating , site can kick you out without respecting you anytime , no one answer you about yr feedback , really sucks , not respecting humanity at all

Hi, I have the same problem, I created on ok-cupid a profile yesterday and today i wanted to log in and i couldnt go in the profile. I have no idea what I did wrong. I didnt posted nothing weird on my profile. I contacted their support and they sent me this weird link and said that i can log in only one time with my old password so I did and still I couldnt get in my profile. This web site is completely weird, I dont get it, can someone help me out with this? Thank you

I was on okcupid for almost a year and got a IM from a woman asking me about tantra and how I'm a fake because women don't have O's from tantra. (I'd love to hear a conversation with her and the woman saying she has 40-60 rolling O's in a session.)
Ms obnoxious asked me something about what I knew about tantra, who I learned from and questions about my qualifications to say I have tantra skills?

I asked her where she learned tantra and she said she just visited India.

Mind you, I never claimed to be an expert or follower of a specific practitioner.
She asked me what I knew about tantra and I said I wanted to learn more because my teacher didn't know the meditation aspect or part of tantra. But I find it confusing trying to understand people living in India talking about tantra because they have different semantic definitions of words they use.

I'm a slow keyboarder and often hit keys next to the key I'm trying to use and didn't notice some spelling errors so she criticized my spelling. Then attacked my morals.

I wanted to ask her if she is a teacher because her talk of walking on water reminded me of obnoxious blowhards in education bragging how much they know.

Also her talk reminded me of how a friend that once worked with teachers insurance claims defined teachers. She grew so disgusted with the constant wining of claimants asking to pay for things the policy didn't cover reminded me of her bragging about her tantra skills.

The funny part is there are four basic groups of yoga dealing with intimacy and there are slight variations tied with religion centuries ago. Tantra was the practice of one religion, Kama Sutra was practiced at one time by another religion, Buddhism is another religious background and I forget the other. I forget which one is Hindu and Museum based. There may be six or more other variations of tantra.

I feel fortunate to have met and talked with Lior Zoref speaker at TED2012. He gave a speech in Feb-March 2013 at a startup business meeting I attended. In the speech he commented there was a boy that declared his interest in becoming a scientist at school. One of his teachers told him he cannot be a scientist. Years later he was awarded a Nobel Prize for discoveries in physics so he had the last laugh at the simple minded teacher.

Meeting Lior inspired me to want to talk at TED some year.
I sought Lior after he gave his talk because he and I both had teachers tell us we cannot do something. A teacher told me I cannot build an airplane. I'm near launch of a website to announce a business to build a twin engine airplane to cruise between 300-400 mph with piston engines to be more affordable than turbine and jet engine designs.

My membership was cancelled after an unsolicited IM from the most obnoxious woman I have ever exchanged words with in my life. By a person claiming or bragging they are educated but in fact is illiterate of what she doesn't know.

I don't profess to know about all there is to possibly know about tantra but meeting a blowhard bragging about their education makes me believe I understand part of why 50% of high school graduates cannot read over the 5th-9th grade level. The last six years of English to graduate from high school were almost identical course material. I hated English so much I refused to recognize the hatred and only claimed to dislike or despise it for fear of total rebellion of my mind. I love to read but stopped reading books for 6 years after high school. Fortunately a college speech professor talked about books to learn from made me want to read books again.

But sadly between 30% and 50% of high school kids today stop attending the garbage put out by nice and decent teachers and illiterate blowhards that brag about skills to elevate their ego by trashing others.

Few people know that Jaime Escalante taught kids considered impossible to teach anything math, algebra and geometry. He proved the kids were not impossible to teach - that some teachers are ineffective and borderline useless.

Many teachers try to do their best to teach their students and deserve to be treated with respect and honor. One school system found that 59% of college grads with teaching credentials could not pass a college exit exam?

If you study the behavior of people is it just me or are 80% of Americans illiterate because too many teachers are illiterate and get degrees from legal degree mills just because they spend 4 years of listening to preaching by professors?

A few in reviews here have called some women on OKcupid psychopaths and borderline mental patients. If someone claims to know everything and not need to learn more are they living in realty or a play world in their mind?

My criticism is if some sick person is critical of another their membership is cancelled without any chance to respond. So people with mental challenges win regardless how illiterate they are if they flash fake degrees.

I've met women on AAF in chat for free and swapped emails and dated. But considering starting a better service than OKcupid that doesn't listen to

This happened to me too. I was only able to access my account maybe twice. I don't know why it does this. I've even made a new account and it won't let me in either one of them. I've tried using Google Chrome, FireFox, and Internet Explorer and Safari. Even the iPhone App. It STILL won't let me in. I tried contacting support and they sent me the SAME email and I received the same results. I don't know what is going on at OKC but I'd like to have it fixed.

same thing happened to me ...I signed in on Wed.
and haven't been able to sign in since I started ...
I tried several other ways too... that's why I'm looking into
it ....I hadn't even got started yet...

I joined a long time ago just to take the quizes when I was bored. A year later I had a terrible break up and I've been terrified of getting involved or eve flirting with a girl since. After months of misery, I checked out peoples profiles and decided to fill out my own. With a lot of courage, I decided to post a picture. I was pretty surprised to get messages from about 10 different girls, and had a couple of conversations. It seemed pretty genuine and they seemed interested, but I'm not in the mental state to believe that any girl would find me attractive let alone date-able.

But enough of my mental problems. I doubt there is a better free site than this. If you fill out your profile, answer 100~ match questions and post a picture you shouldn't have trouble talking to someone. If I had more self-esteem I would still use it. The girls I talked to were friendly, had similar interests and cute on top of that. Since I couldn't accept that and couldn't take it further I guess I'm just a GUY who takes pictures of himself for attention...

Guys need to understand that youre not going to find a lot of success if you want to meet local singles looking for nsa sex. It's a dating site, not the facebook of sex you see advertised with porn. You'll have much more luck going to bars and clubs and talking to drunk girls. If youre an average guy or girl and the people who respond to you don't fit the image of your dream love, maybe you need lower your expectations.

they have blocked your ip address and have blocked your current profiles. they only thing you can do is create a new profile after changing you ip address.

is there any help about some error when i tried to log in ok cupid it gives me an error or a message said that there is a technical problem now ,,,is there any body has idea about what is wrong about that , i changed my windows for that reason but invain it works for 2 days and then give same error again i can not formatting my windows any more

I was on OKCupid for a month and made some promising connections. Had to cut them all short when I met a perfect match. I suggest you fill in as much of the questionaire as possible and rate the ones they throw at you.

lol I think I filled out too many questions to get a good match with a girl and now under my personality tab it says less experienced in life and just takes off in the left direction like i'm not really a human being or somthing, although i have to admit that I can't argue the less experienced in love bar which is way lower than average, maybe I'm too quirky

I have been on this site and meet a lot of ladys on a first date and then when asking for a second date I get the same line over and over again. Kevin you seeem like a nice guy but didnt feel a connection.

I believe in beeing friends first and doing things together and then the connection and attractive will start to happen.

Cheers!

Kevin

Ok so ur saying this site works? I'm looking to find a friend as well as a possible man to make me feel like a lady. But as I read the questions they want me to answer I can't help but think it will not show the real me. Yes I know people lie to make themselves look better than they might possible be. I live in a remote area and what if my match doesn't live close I wouldn't mind just texting for awhile to get to know him. It's it wrong to use this site for that? Yes I'm oldfashioned friends first, if it was just a hookup I was looking for I could go bar hopping and get that. Is this the place or not?

Hi Janice. My apologies, but if you are indeed remote this does make things challenging for potentials on any dating site. Many people do have their preferences as to the radius for people of interest. There is an option to denote "penpals" as part of your criteria (other options including short/long term dating, new friends, etc.), but not everyone will be open to this. I was briefly seeing someone on this site that required me to travel a good distance (and pay an expensive bridge toll each time) and this made visits difficult (the person never wanted to come over to my side, so this was even more discouraging). Another person I bonded very well and we Skyped even, albeit she was overseas in the Phillipines (I'm in the United States).

As to the questions you have the flexibility to answer the ones you're comfortable with and there is an option to create your own questions as well. However, as mentioned by others the more questions you answer the possible better chance you have on finding a match more resemblance to what you might be looking for. The exception to this is people are looking for mismatches or opposites of them (I read one person's profile encouraging to meet people who had a high "enemy" rating with her).

I'm sure there are a number of people who lie on this site as any other online medium, but I believe the majority of members are genuinely interested in pursuing romance on the site too. Maturity level and how they interact with people are another matter. I was one of the people in the beginning like many other males who were discouraged by the low response rate, but after awhile I took this with a grain of salt and just moved on. This was not until somewhat recently when I experienced my 2nd live encounter did I realize how women can in particular be bombarded by so many messages they do not have time to answer everyone (my date in this circumstance was getting an average 80 messages a day).

Actually, I'm sounding extremely discouraging. Just note dating sites like many other mediums are a game of chance. Try to not get discouraged in the beginning and keep a positive attitude. A terrible thing you don't want to do is resign yourself or carry a negative attitude as this will scare away potentials.

The women take a lot of crap from idiot men who ruin it for the rest of us who can actually spell and hold an intelligent conversation. And there are some of the most ignorant, mind numbingly shallow women out there too. The only process that works is the one that works for you... There are tips, far to many to go into, but this one will save you the most important thing: MONEY!

One tip to live by: If you do decide to meet any of these women... Make sure you specify going Dutch for the first few meetings (at least), as it is seemingly the game for women to get out and have a good time without any investment, except for their time.

I have been on several sites over the last 5 years, between two 1.5 year relationships. (One on yahoo personals, and the other that I actually met in person! How odd!) In this time, there are those women who actually "get it", (thank you ladies), who know to chip in and just be considerate... whether they feel chemistry or not.

The other class: The princesses, or the C U Next Tuesdays that are all about filling their calendars for drinks and being out to get away from kids, or to just be able to interact with a male and mingle without cutting into their budgets. They save that for girls nights, but they are scamming that night too for the moron who buys them drinks all night! So to those wonderful ladies: "You're pathetic and sad!"

Problem with the latter is that those women are rarely ever ready to actually be there mentally in the date, as they are bruised, battered, and still hate their ex. It doesn't change the fact that you just dropped $100 on dinner and drinks for an absent-minded divorcee trying to drown her sorrows in an escape attempt that you end up springing for. I am very observant, but I am not rude. I have even experinemted and left the check sitting there while we talk, just to see. They either fumble with their keys, go to the bathroom, take an "important" call, whatever they can do to run from a financial obligation to the evening. So I ended up picking up the tab, because of the way I was reared. This is also why I specify this now before dates. It will weed out the freeloaders, and will un-skew the lines.

(So before I get a rebuttal about this... These dates are decided on mutually, and input is given on both sides. They are sometimes asked for by me first, and sometimes by the female.So me asking them out obligates me to pay the tab is a load of ****!)

So, make sure that you get that out in the open very early. It is better than getting stiffed by a literal stiff only to figure out in person that they aren't ready to be anything but a friend who expects you to take them out and make them forget their pain. Frankly I would rather invest in a warm towel and some lotion...

Incidentally, most recently I found a young sexy female on Match and she ROCKS... It is a crapshoot. But she is amazing. This site, I give it about 2 out of 5. I feel it is more social than dating, but each to their own.

Chris

Chris - Thank you for mentioning the part about going Dutch on the first date. I can't stress STRONGLY ENOUGH how much it means to me if a guy is OK with this. No, we aren't trying to emasculate you. No, we aren't trying to keep you at arm's length. The fact of the matter is, we are women, you are men, and some of us women have had really bad experiences with men saying that we "owed" them because they bought us a drink/dinner/etc. We don't KNOW you, and it's a safety precaution on our parts (just like meeting in a public place).

I am contemplating going back on OKC. I deactivated my profile after months of messages that were either 3 page long screeds, or nothing but "hi" or "hello." If I did find something in between the two, either the guy emailed me back and forth and never wanted to meet up, or else we did make plans to meet up which got cancelled. It got really boring and frustrating. I did meet one nice guy, but he kept putting himself down constantly, which really turned me off.

It's more hook up than social.

I read all of these to find a current one...I need some help....I can not log in to my OK Cupid profile. I am seeing someone I met on there and disabled my first profile. But, got some wierd messages so created another profile now I can't get into either of them but yesterday got a message from another profile I had deleted quite some time ago . Does anyone know how I can get back on to delete / disable my profiles I just want one on there...HELP!

I as a male loved okcupid! I would get several messages daily and although I didn't respond to all of them it was nice seeing the variety on the site. After 7 years of finding dates the traditional way ( and 7 years of bad luck) I finally found a perfect match and somebody with whom I'm very in love with on ok Cupid. Bottom line I highly recommend it.

The huge number of angry, prudish women is not exactly a catch. Been on the site for over a year and the female users are a very far cry from "friendly," regardless of how politely you approach them

I have participated in newspaper personals ads in years past and now have been on OkCupid for over a year. I applaud the intent of OkCupid, which is to enable singles to meet. But in practice there are many obstacles to a good outcome (dates).

There is no verification of members' identities, and so any member can be (and often is) misrepresented in one or more ways. Photos are often years old, sometimes by decades. Many of the "single" members appear to actually be social workers with a professional interest in corresponding with online singles. These mental health professionals don't appear to be looking for real dates at all. There is no means of avoiding any kind of game or con that can be played on members, and as a result, members are often distrustful of each other.

These sites can be a lot of fun, provided you keep in mind that almost nothing and no one on these sites is really what they appear to be.

My experience has been that real life dates with quality individuals can be a very rare occurrence. I've met two women in the year-plus I've been on the site, each only once, for lunch. This is not a good outcome considering my investment of time answering questions and providing other personal details.

The key to any online dating site, or just dating in general, is to be honest with yourself. Otherwise you will be setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration, wasting your time and theirs.

As a guy, it is difficult to really give yourself an HONEST assessment, especially if your older like me. I'm 38, always been "a good looking guy", in shape, no problem physically attracting girls, look years younger than i am . . . all true. but i'm still 38 y/o, less than 2 yrs shy of 40, aka "over the hill". Not that i buy into all that, but you cannot get mad at the girls who are looking for a long term relationship and at age 25 cannot see themselves dating a 50 y/o guy in ten, 12 years.

Anyway, be honest with yourself and honest hot chicks will follow . . . or something like that.

I have been on OkCupid a few times with great outcomes everytime. The first time I met a really cool guy we were just in different places in our lives so it didn't work out. The second time (4.5 years ago) was another awesome guy but we were better friends than anything and we are still close friends today. The last and final time was 3 years ago when I met my current boyfriend. He is the best, I love him to death and am so happy to have him in my life.

Good luck everyone!

I was on OKC for about two years, I went on a lot of dates and ended up meeting the love of my life. OkCupid matched us in "quiver" and we have been together about a year-never been happier.

The reviews that I read on POF are very bad. However, on OK Cupid they look to be more flattering. Not sure why this is. I gave both of them a try. Coincidentally with both, I received contacts from ladies quickly after joining and thought this will be fun & productive. Once on for 3 weeks it absolutely dried up with both of them. On both of them I have experienced deceit and the lack of courtesy by many women. I E-mailed back & forth with several, then they stop responding when I suggest if they would like to meet. The reality is that these sites are more populated by men and therefore very average women, let alone the attractive elite, hear from many guys. It pads their ego and makes them feel that they can be so selective if bother to respond at all. As a 60 year old, very fit gentleman, I find I can be in contact with all the medicare age ladies I would care for. However, if they are 55-60, which seems about right for me, it is easier eating soup with a knife or fork.. I have had it with both of these sites but know that I will find someone right for me in some other way.

I have had a similar experience. If anything, OK Cupid has been worse and I removing myself from it today.
The only women i hear from are from China or out of state. I have initiated messaging to various women and for the most part I receive no response or admittedly one response from them that asks me several questions about myself. I have quite a bit going for me and I respond truthfully. Usually i do not get a 2nd response. Unlike real life i think many of these women have found a place where numerous men seem to desire them and that makes their day.

As a man, i prefer to weed out the tanned, slim, women. It's pretty simple as to why. They usually look fake, no intelligence, they like to bully other women/narcissist, they never eat, etc. I could go on. If i wanted to date a woman who thinks she's all that, then i'd go to a typical nightclub, or a dogging carpark. lol. Why they're inhumanely obssessed with bitching about other women is just obssessive in my opinion. I'm not interested in hearing about how Sue from next door eats loudly, or how Susan from next door has flatulence. That's called life. I don't know your neighbours, therefore i don't really care what they do. They're probably not interested in what YOU'RE doing, young lady, so who cares. Bloody hell. Constantly whining about the smallest things that aren't even relevant to your life. Women, who needs em? Lets all just hire prostitutes instead.

Yikes. What do I do now? My profile picture shows me tan, blond, green-eyed and slim, and it's a current picture, from the end of last summer. I also have a degree from an Ivy League university. Which one should I lie about??

Hello tanned, toned, blond you don't need to lie about anything. But sometimes not talking about some things or making some things less obvious may help.

I talked with a OKcupid woman in Santa Monica showing a closeup of her buttocks, torso in a bikini and face photos. Her first question was asking me about tantra because she approached me first? She looked incredible with her photos focused on her outer beauty. Curious about how men relate with her because of the focus of her photos, I asked her how men treated her? She said most think of her as more of a toy for their pleasure. So her question about tantra seemed strange with her being sensitive about how men focus on getting physical with her?

I was surprised by talking with her how intelligent she is on so many topics that I have strengths in and her showing photos focused more on physical pleasure and beauty in a relationship. I think the competitive side of her took over her sensibilities and not getting recognition of her mental skills helped make her focus on showing off her incredible body.

Then she complains men expect her to want physical pleasure?

Her answers to questions said she is totally willing to meet in person but she made it clear we need to communicate possibly for months before meeting.

Some very attractive women don't use even 1-2 photos of themselves in personal profiles as a way to attract men less focused or not focused on physical pleasure. Many women use a photo shot so far from the camera little is clear about their face but it suggests they are fit or in good health gives a clue about their body. Granted some women don't believe they are as attractive in photos as they are in person.

A friend she runs a robotics group could work as a model if she wanted. She stopped showing photos of the group wearing any makeup at all and hair not made to look her best. Even without makeup she looks better than some models not in makeup to me. But it causes her less grief with jerks.

If you and I were to develop a relationship over a month and swap photos to know who we are meeting, it's not a big deal if you look incredible.

Most women only post they have a college degree if they have one. I don't care if you have a Harvard or other Ivy credentials.
Many that get great degrees work in a capacity we rarely hear about them, so who cares? If you post a specific college that is highly ranked some may take this as bragging if other things seem like your bragging.

If you state the obvious your tanned, toned and blonde some people may consider this bragging. I worked as a paid informant or spy once but don't talk about it to friends or on dating sites for fear of sounding like I'm bragging.

If meeting men and you once had a bad experience, bring along 1, 2 or 4 friends. I don't care if others are along to meet in public.
I like our meeting in public just in case you bring 2-4 guys to rob me. The downside of meeting this way is your friends will do everything they can to find something wrong with a man.
I recommend not having other women at the table with a man you meet or date so they are at a separate table. I guarantee they will sabotage your getting a date if given a chance. Most women sabotage dating with their wish list for 5000 things they want in a man so 2-3 women make 10,000 or 15,000 deal killers.

I host a Wed after work beach volleyball group year round and try to recruit new members male/female all the time. I talked with a man last night about 6 feet tall. Tanned, toned blonds like yourself that can handle their own in conversation just like untanned not toned blonds, redheads, women with black or kinky hair and all other hair colors are welcome. Last Summer we had 30-40 show up to meet other fun people to play with.

I love the warm, fun and friendly people that play beach volleyball that join my group and people that never join that I meet at other places. Because almost all are warm and friendly.

Meetup groups now meet worldwide may make a better way to see people in action in sports. Ask them questions, have them ask you questions. This may be a more useful way to meet people in person with 5, 10, 20 or some groups have 300 show up for meetups.

And a great way to get past someones objections to tanned, toned blond men or women. Some women even like checking out tanned toned men only wearing shorts. But you have to talk to people to decide if he or she can converse at your level.

Some join meetups to get laid. Some join them to have fun playing a sport or share food, drink with. Some join groups to gain verbal skills, foreign language or gain business knowledge. Some fake interests purely to date men or women they become intimate with. Some look for friends for life. Some join to find one or more buddy's to fly or go sailing with. Some canoe or kayak and camp in canoes or kayaks. I want to host a beach yoga meet and help people find dance groups that dance on a regular basis.

Tanned toned blonds and people not so tanned, toned and have other hair colors are welcome also.

Think twice, man. You can't have prostitutes unless there are women!

As a man, i prefer to weed out the tanned, slim, women. It's pretty simple as to why. They usually look fake, no intelligence, they like to bully other women/narcissist, they never eat, etc. I could go on. If i wanted to date a woman who thinks she's all that, then i'd go to a typical nightclub, or a dogging carpark. lol. Why they're inhumanely obssessed with bitching about other women is just obssessive in my opinion. I'm not interested in hearing about how Sue from next door eats loudly, or how Susan from next door has flatulence. That's called life. I don't know your neighbours, therefore i don't really care what they do. They're probably not interested in what YOU'RE doing, young lady, so who cares. Bloody hell. Constantly whining about the smallest things that aren't even relevant to your life. Women, who needs em?

I've tried several dating sites and have been on OkCupid for about three weeks. So far I've chatted with about a dozen women and gone on dates with two of them. I have three more dates lined up in the next week. My experience so far is that OKC attracts much more intelligent, interesting women than other sites. In my area it seems as though it has about as many attractive women as any other site as well. I find that an articulate, thoughtful message that show's you have read her profile will often get a reply. You have to be interesting, guys! I've got to say, OkCupid is great. Best dating site I've been on so far.