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Welcome to Dating Sites Reviews Wednesday, May 22 2013 @ 04:49 PM
A friend is about to embark on a journey to a brave new world. After years of serial monogamy, she is determined to enjoy singlehood. She’s got a lot to look forward to…flirting in the park, first dates in coffee shops, late nights spent with good-looking strangers in bars…but she’s nervous.
It’s been a long time since she had a first date, and she isn’t sure what she’s in for. Match.com, on the other hand, knows exactly what she’s in for. The site’s latest infographic takes a look at first dates across America, checking in on what makes singles tick during that all-important first meeting.
Who went on the most first dates in 2012? That depends on how you’re counting:
You might think most people are meeting at bars and nightclubs, but the reality is that few are finding their mates during nights on the town.
Singles are getting bolder these days. The Three Day Rule is becoming a thing of the past. 75% of single men and 50% of single women say they follow up with a date within 3 days. The bravest singles reside in Chicago and New York – 52% of singles in those cities say they initiated their last first date. Los Angeles came in second, with a close 51%.
Unsurprisingly, first dates in the 21st century are different than the first dates of yore. Now, 48% of women say they research a man before their first date and 47% expect to know his employment status by the time the first date is done. Ideas of what is and isn’t appropriate on a first date have also evolved over time:
After the date, the majority of singles prefer to communicate over the phone (61%). Other popular methods of post-date communication are “In person” (15%) and “Text” (14%). Social networking sites may be all the rage right now, but only 1% think they’re a good way to communicate after a date.
See the full size infographic here.Tag: match.com statistics first date
Amongst the Catfish-induced hysteria that has become such a cultural phenomenon, some are attempting to shed light on the actual likelihood of being scammed online. What’s Your Price may not sound like the most reliable or scientific of sources (ok, it definitely doesn’t), but they are the latest to join the conversation on online dating honesty.
What’s Your Price’s recent study found that – surprise! – people do lie on the their profiles. But (and this may actually be a surprise to some of you), they rarely lie about anything major. Women tend to lie about their weight; men tend to lie about their height, income, and marital status.
When you break it down by city, the biggest online dating liars reside in Washington, D.C. – there’s definitely a joke about lying politicians in the somewhere, but I’ll leave it to you to fill in the blank. Following in the footsteps of D.C. are Atlanta and New York, while the opposite end of the spectrum is occupied by Houston, Phoenix, Boston, Charlotte, and Minneapolis.
Research has shown that around 81% of online daters misrepresent some part of their identity on their profiles. It sounds like a lot, but when you think about it, just as many people stretch the truth when you meet them in person. It’s the curse of the dating game in general, not the curse of the online dating game specifically.
The majority of online dating lies are small, because anything larger would quickly be caught upon meeting in person for the first time, and relatively harmless. In fact, some researchers even think those little lies could be beneficial for your mental health and dating prospects.
A 2009 study found that some little white lies — like exaggerating your college GPA — can lead to genuinely improved performance. They become self-fulfilling prophecies. In other words: there’s a scientific basis for ‘fake it ‘til you make it.’
“Exaggerators tend to be more confident and have higher goals for achievement,” said Richard Gramzow, a psychologist at the University of Southampton in England and one of the study’s co-authors. “Positive biases about the self can be beneficial.”
Liars also tend to be happier than other people, and are viewed as friendlier and more amiable than their more truthful counterparts. A few fibs may also be key to standing out in the over-saturated online dating market.
So should you lie in your online dating profile?
But will you do it?
Most likely.Tag: online dating honesty statistics
Take that, online dating critics!
While some are busy striking fear into the hearts of online daters everywhere, others are busting stereotypes wide open.
Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but a new study from the Crime Victims Institute at Sam Houston State University is still worth a look. The report compares the dating safety and victimization rates between traditional relationships and online relationships. Is meeting someone online really more dangerous than meeting someone offline?
The answer, according to Molly Smith, one of the doctoral student researchers involved in the study, is no. Regardless of how people meet, the rate of victimization appears to be very close. All daters should be cautious and keep their wits about them, no matter the scenario.
Maria Koeppel, another doctoral student researcher who worked on the project, worries that daters have let their guard down now that online dating is socially acceptable. Even though it is now mainstream, Koeppel warns, singles should always remember that it’s important to think of safety measures when going on a date with someone they met online.
"As society is becoming more technology based,” she says, “education about online dating, as well as continued information about traditional dating, needs to be stressed to high school kids and even preteens. She suggests that educators could even consider incorporating a segment on the subject into health classes, teaching students about the potential dangers of online dating.
Koeppel also offers advice for college students: "Just be smart when going into dating situations or trying to find someone to date. Don’t put yourself out of your comfort zone. Many dating situations in college tend to be fueled by alcohol or drugs, so be smart."
And here’s the real surprise: according to the Crime Victims Institute study, online daters actually tend to have slightly lower rates of victimization than traditional daters. Smith believes online dating can be less dangerous because people pay more attention when dating on the Internet. Online daters are naturally more cautious than those who date offline.
"People who seek out potential partners on the internet seem to exhibit higher levels of caution and utilize more protective measures," Smith explains. Many who use online dating sites also tend to talk to their potential partners “for a longer period of time prior to meeting them in person, thus making them more aware of potential ‘red flags’ that might arise in a face-to-face situation."Tag: online dating safety study
The more tech-savvy among you have no doubt heard the uproar surrounding Facebook’s Graph Search. Even the less tech-savvy have probably heard it – the uproar was just that big.
Here’s why: Graph Search offers personalized results like those from a search engine, but contextualized and drawn from specific data culled from your social circle. It’s even capable of understanding natural speech, instead of relying on keyword searches. Couple that with the “Pay to Message Strangers” feature Facebook also announced, and you’ve got…a dating site?
That’s certainly what the online dating industry feared. Before Graph Search had even launched, industry experts worried that Facebook would be the death of online dating.
Lucky for them, there may have been nothing to worry about. "I used graph search and it showed me people who meet my criteria,” said OkCupid and Match CEO Sam Yagan, “but that didn't mean I wanted to date those people." Traditional dating sites use painstakingly crafted algorithms to pair up compatible couples, but Facebook lacks any strategy for determining compatibility. Graph Search can find you users who also love Tom Cruise movies, but it can’t actually figure out if you’re a good match.
Aaron Schildkrout, co-CEO of HowAboutWe, found the whole idea puzzling. After you find someone you’re interested in, then what? Do you friend them? Do you pay a fee to send a stranger a message? It all feels awkward, and decidedly unlikely to lead to real connections.
Sean Suhl, cofounder of Let’s Date, agrees with Schildkrout’s assessment "I would feel awkward about contacting a stranger or friend of a friend on Facebook for romantic reasons because not everyone on Facebook is there to meet people.” On a dating site, you can rest assured that – barring a few exceptions – everyone’s there to meet future dates.
But that’s not to say Facebook is a completely lost cause when it comes to online dating. It’s already one of the most common ways people meet and hook up online. Dan Slater, author of Love in the Time of Algorithms, says "We all know that people have already been using Facebook for dating, and that Facebook is the biggest online dating site in the world, even though it doesn't think of itself as an online dating site."
So what is Facebook, exactly? Is it a place to meet new friends? Is it a tool to keep in touch with old friends? Is it the newest (and maybe the most powerful) dating site to join the fray? Maybe it’s all three.Tag: online dating facebook
Are most women looking for tall, dark and handsome when it comes to finding a husband? Or are they looking for incredible chemistry over friendship? Not according to the mental health professionals surveyed by dating website YourTango. Participants were asked a series of questions on how their clients felt about what makes a man good husband material.
The vast majority of survey respondents agreed that among their clients, a man’s ability to communicate was the number one quality to make him a good contender for a husband. This makes sense with mental health professionals – most of the time they are coaching their clients on how to communicate needs and desires without alienating or attacking each other. This is very important to creating a lasting and happy marriage. (For those of us who’ve experienced relationships lacking good communication skills, this is definitely a must!)
Two other traits that women wanted most in a husband were close behind: reliability and honesty. So, were looks or career success anywhere in the picture?
The respondents claimed their clients were least interested in a man's height, his religion/ethnicity, or his job. This data was surprising, considering how many female online daters complain about not wanting to date shorter men, or men who make less money than they do. This survey shows that in finding a good partner, these traits or practices matter least. Women are much more interested in connecting and communicating well with a potential husband.
Other findings include:
A majority of respondents said that women cannot tell everything they need to know about a man by how he treats his own mother. “Not even close” 65% of respondents claimed. So don’t discount a potential love just because he’s not close with his mother. (Although I will add if he treats women with disrespect, especially family members, this is a red flag!)
A majority of respondents (55%) disagreed with the assumption that if a man is over 40 and never been married, he’s afraid of commitment and not husband material. They encourage women to give these men a chance, because likely they are independent and were looking to get further along in their careers before settling down.
Fifty-eight percent of respondents agree that single dads can make great husbands. But the verdict is split on whether divorced men make good husbands: About 50% say they do.
Bad boys can redeem themselves. Ninety-six percent of respondents agree that good husbands are made, not born, and 85% think a man with a checkered past can evolve into a great partner over time.Tag: husband statistics