How many times have you been on a date where the person you’re meeting seems angry, frustrated, or negative? And how many times have you been on dates where you felt that way yourself?
We all feel negative from time to time, but it definitely affects your love life if you allow those feelings to take hold and shape your attitude towards dating. This month, dating site Match released a study based on a survey it conducted among one thousand of its users to determine how positive and negative thinking affect the dating experience.
Not surprisingly, especially with this election year, nearly 80% of Match members feel the country has become MORE negative over the last 4 years and more than half of Match members have broken up with someone because they were too negative or pessimistic. The majority of Match members agree, the most attractive attribute of positivity is the fact that it signals a good outlook on life (68%).
Politics has played an important role in cultivating feelings of pessimism among daters. A majority (56%) of Match users are talking less about politics on a date than they used to, most likely to avoid getting into a heated debate.
Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Scientific Advisor to Match, advised singles to stop expressing so much negativity, and try to approach dating with a more positive mindset to achieve better results. She said: “Fifty-one percent of Match members have broken up with a pessimist. They want a partner who smiles, is enthusiastic and who thinks of the future, not the past. And for good reason. Negativity stresses the body and the mind. We’re naturally drawn to positive people because when they smile, we automatically smile too—and smiling triggers facial muscles that trigger the brain’s pleasure centers to make you feel good. Sure; there’s much to cry about. But if you want to attract the right partner and fall in love, be happy. It’s one of nature’s secrets to romance.”
Here’s a look at the data on the positive side:
- 93% of Match members say they have bonded more with a partner over shared positive views vs. negative views.
- When meeting a date for the first time, more than three-quarters of Match members see the positive in a person vs. the negative. (83%)
- 98% of Match members prefer to be with someone who is moderately successful but highly positive vs. someone highly successful but very negative.
- Match members agree, the top 3 traits positive people exude most are a smile (58%), looking forward to the future vs. looking back (54%), and enthusiasm (48%).
Positivity trumps negativity every time, so try to focus on the positive to get in the right frame of mind before your next date. For more on this online dating service, please read our Match review.