| Author: |
Jet |
| Dated: |
Monday, May 03 2010 @ 08:55 AM Eastern Daylight Time |
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403 times |
 People like to compare finding someone through an online dating site to meeting someone in a bar. I suspect that's because meeting someone in a bar is the cliché “regular” way to do it, though I can't think of many people I've known who have actually met their significant other that way.
Usually when we compare the two we talk about gut first impressions vs. getting to know someone though email, and the related safety factors. However, there's one factor that's rarely discussed: if you're in a bar, chances are you're drinking alcohol, even just a little. And while you might check out profiles with a glass of wine, chances are you form most of your impressions and make most of your decisions online sober.
Let's think about how this might alter your experience.
The first, and most obvious, difference might be the old “drunk goggles” effect. Even if you're not totally smashed, you might respond a little more favorably toward someone who approaches you. That girl at the end of the bar might seem just a little more awesome. Now imagine you're at the bar or club with a group of friends; you're having a good time already. Everything seems better.
When you're totally sober, looking at your computer in the harsh light of day, you might be a little more critical. You might be a little more reserved. You might be skeptical of the whole online dating experience, and you're just waiting for someone incredibly attractive to prove you wrong.
If you think I've just described you, you need to liven up your online experience a little. Does that mean get smashed? Absolutely not!
You could make it more fun, though. If you have fun checking out potential dates in public with a friend, get a trusted friend over and have them scour profiles with you. While I advocate making your own decisions, sometimes a little peer pressure to email that interesting person can be a good thing.
Don't go looking through profiles when you're in a bad mood and sick of being single. Everyone will seem less attractive or more unattainable. Just as you want to make your best first impression, your potential matches would like to make their best first impression as well.
And remember, finding potential dates can be exciting and fun! Don't sap the life out of it.
Tag: online dating profiles mood
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