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DatingBlogger |
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Tuesday, July 27 2010 @ 07:41 PM Eastern Daylight Time |
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 Over the past few years, I’ve realized the extreme importance of having full disclosure with dates and partners. Each time I’ve been able to exercise this type of frankness with a new partner, I’ve discovered that the relationship is much more fulfilling and honest.
Everyone always wants to put their best foot forward on a date -- especially on those initial first dates. And in no way does having full disclosure conflict with that! You can be entirely charming and frank at the same time!
Such frankness is not always easy, either. There are times when you will know that the disclosure of certain information might mean that you’ve exercised a deal-breaker to your date.
For instance, for a while, I was involved in a steady relationship, but it was open and we had agreed that while we were still devoted to each other, we would also like to see other people and share our experiences with each other.
I was really nervous about this the first time I had a date during that relationship. I know that for certain people, the fact that I was already in a relationship might have disqualified me for any further dates. However, I also knew that the other person needed that information about me if he was going to be able to make an informed decision as to whether or not he would like to continue dating me and that withholding that information would be both unethical and cruel.
As soon as it came up, I told him about my boyfriend and our situation. Although he was a little shocked at first, he was actually really okay with it. He even asked me questions about it and wanted to know how it worked and how we had come to that decision, thus provoking a lively and thoughtful conversation on the topic of monogamy versus polyamory.
Furthermore, although this date worked out well and my partner was okay with my situation, I’m fully aware that not all people would have the same response. I’m sure that there are many people who would, in fact, be deeply uncomfortable with the idea, and I respect their stance. Nevertheless -- it is still their right to know.
The point is that full disclosure allows you and your partner to make accurate assessments about whether or not they would like to continue dating. By expressing your needs and desires openly and frankly in such a way, both parties will be able to make informed decisions -- some of which will be in your favor and some that won’t. By practicing full disclosure, you can save time and hearts by being honest and straightforward right away about what you want out of the situation -- and be more likely to get it.
Tag: dating honesty
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