“Opposites attract.”

You’ve all heard that saying countless times, and you’ve probably experienced something like it at some point in your life, but does it hold up when it comes to online dating?

Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but more often than not potential dates are attracted to the things you have in common, not the things you don’t. The anonymity and potential safety concerns associated with the Internet can make meeting people online a nerve-wracking experience, so in order for someone to be comfortable meeting you or sharing personal information, you must build enough rapport with them that they feel they know you well and that you are trustworthy.

The best way to build this connection is – you guessed it! – discussing your similarities, and identifying strongly with the people with whom you would like to get more involved.

Take a moment to think about your ideal date. What qualities do you find attractive? What kind of person are you most interested in meeting online? What would grab the attention of that kind of person?

Over time, you’ll find that a lot of the men and women you encounter online fall into recognizable personality categories, with identifiable traits and relatively predictable behavior. Some of the most common online dating personalities are:

The Introvert: An introvert usually begins his or her profile with something like “I’m not really sure what to write about” or “I don’t know what to say about myself.” This personality type is typically shy, and might have low self-esteem. When reaching out to this kind of person, it’s important that you take your time and build rapport slowly. Developing a strong connection and sense of trust is more important with Introverts than with anyone else.

The Adventurer: The adventurer loves life and intends to live it to the fullest. They like being active, are not afraid of taking risks, and believe that everything should be tried once. Adventurers are usually easy to spot – just look at the photos they’ve uploaded and the outrageous stories they tell in their profiles. To attract this personality, show that you are just like them by exhibiting your adventurous side.

The “I’m-Totally-Over-It”: This personality type is tired of playing games and sick of the traditional dating scene. They’re ready to find a deep connection and a serious relationship. If this is the kind of person you’re looking for, win them over by empathizing with them. Make sure they understand that you’re both at the same stage in your lives, and that you share common relationship goals. 

The “I’m-Comfortable-Being-Me”: A person like this is confident and secure. They’re equally as happy dressing up and spending the night on the town as they are lounging around the house in their pajamas. They’re proud of who they are and don’t care what anyone else thinks of them. The key to winning this type over is using your wit and showing your quirky side. They love humor and individuality, and want to surround themselves with others who don’t care what people think of them.

As soon as you’ve identified the kind of personalities you’re most interested in, you can start targeting your messages and tailoring your profile to attract the people that will be the best matches for you.